Body Language 40 The Double Point

August 10, 2019

You don’t often see a double point in a professional setting, but when you do it can mean many different things.

The usual meaning is that “It must have been someone else; it wasn’t me.”

In the picture, this man has his arms crossed. If both fingers are pointed in the same direction toward a specific person, it is a sign of “The culprit was definitely him (or you).”

Sometimes a person will double point at herself. In that case, the connotation is a person taking responsibility for something that happened.

The message received is that “I have the full resposability for this mess.”

Alternatively, the gesture can be one of wanting the full credit for something good that happened. The accompanying statement might be, “Guess who is responsible for winning the Farnsworth Account.”

When the gesture is directed outwardly, as in the accompanying picture, the double point in normally with the index finger. In the case of identifying one’s self, the pointing can be either with the fingers, or it is commonly seen with the thumbs doing the pointing.

A single pointing gesture in body language normally is seen as a hostile gesture. Body language experts advise to refrain from pointing when addressing an individual.

The reason is that it subtly (or not) puts the other person on the defensive. It is like you are coming at the other person with a weapon.

The preferred hand configuration when wanting to emphasize a point you are making is open palm with the palm facing up. That is a more open and inviting gesture that encourages conversation. It is not considered threatening by most people.

With the double point, what you have is the same connotation as a single point except the gesture is on steroids.

When it is done to indicate something positive, it can be a highly welcome sign. If the situation is negative, you are really putting the other person on notice.

Of course, all of these signals will be tempered by the accompanying facial expression. You could double point at a person while saying something quite negative but have the whole meaning reversed with a facial expression indicating that you are joking.

Regardless of the circumstances, when you use the double point gesture, your intended meaning can be easily misconstrued. If you mean something in jest, but the other person takes it literally, then there is often a trust withdrawal.

Be alert for these dangers and use the double point sparingly and with caution. Always double back in some way to check that the meaning received was the one you intended to send. That verification step is good advice for interpreting all body language gestures.

This is a part in a series of articles on “Body Language.” The entire series can be viewed on https://www.leadergrow.com/articles/categories/35-body-language or on this blog.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPLP, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of four books: 1.TheTrust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals (2003), 2. Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online (2006), 3. Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind (2009), and 4. Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change (2014). In addition, he has authored over 600 articles and videos on various topics in leadership and trust. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.


Renewal

December 29, 2010

Every New Year’s Eve, I go through a kind of renewal ritual. It is my gift to myself for having done my best for the past year, and it allows me to look forward to an even better year to come. I have recommended some form of this for all people who take my leadership classes. It does not need to be done on the New Year; some people like to do this on their birthday or some other specific day of the year. The point is to designate one day to reflect on what you have done, where you are, and what you intend to do in the coming year and beyond.

I will step you through my specific ritual, but recognize I am not advocating anyone adopt this exact formula. I do believe it is critical for you to check in on yourself in a substantial way at least once a year. Doing this allows you to feel good about your past efforts and create a rational plan for the next phase of your life. I find it sad that many adults go through the motions every year and never stop to think seriously about what is happening. It is as if they expect the world to do right by them without putting any energy into it themselves. We all know the universe does not work that way. If you wish to live a productive life, it is necessary to do some serious planning.

My process starts early in the day on New Year’s Eve. I begin by going back over the calendar for the entire year and documenting all my key accomplishments. This is an uplifting start to the process, because I am reminded of the incredible forward momentum that has been built as a result of prior planning sessions. That encourages me to put more effort into the rest of the day.

I revisit the “Strategic Framework” for my business and my personal life, a document that I have been building for roughly 20 years. It exists as a PowerPoint slide deck because I am right brained and tend to think in PowerPoint. The actual slides should never be presented because they contain way too much information for anyone but myself to view. Besides, there are a number of personal issues involved in several sections.

My current Framework has sections on the following topics:

Objectives – what I am trying to get out of life and work
Values – my fundamental beliefs about the nature of people and how the world works
Vision – where I expect to be in several years
Mission – what I am trying to do right now
Behaviors – things I promise myself I will do (and hold myself accountable for doing)
Value Proposition – the contribution my business makes to society and my clients
Goals – for next year, and for 5 years out – (I do two sets of goals because the actions required to achieve my close-in goals are different from what is required to accomplish long term objectives.)
Major Accomplishments Last Year – what I have actually done, in detail
Revenue Projections – a specific financial goal for next year, and also a projection for the next 5 years.
SWOT Analysis – my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats
Strategic Plan – the handful of strategic drivers I intend to pursue to accomplish my goals based on the SWOT analysis
Tactical Plan – a list of specific activities needed to accomplish my strategy
Marketing Strategy – the promotion strategy for several categories – media, advertising, logic for reaching target groups, etc.
Sales Plan – the sales dimensions strategy document (by segment)
Publishing and Writing Plan – how many articles, where, and any books etc.
Online Presence Plan – my search engine optimization (SEO), including use of upgraded website and BLOG capabilities
Plan for Local and National Associations – including what can I afford to
keep doing (both financial and from a time perspective) & what I should stop doing
Corporate Policies & Procedures – the rules and assumptions I use to run my business
Master Strategy Team – my “Mastermind Group” as advocated by Napoleon Hill
Strategy for Teaching and Academics – how many courses, or which universities, etc.
Strategy for Optimal Speaking – patterns and associations, fee levels and pro bono strategy
Possible Partnerships – groups or individuals I want to work with in the coming year
What Makes Leadergrow Unique – statement I can use in advertising, and speaking introductions
Directional Options for Next Year – listing at least 3-5 options for course changing in my business or personal life
Mind Map of Future Options – because I think best in pictures
Detail Pages – for each option identified along with advantages and
disadvantages of each

This exercise may seem like a lot of work, but it does not need to be done all at once. You can build it up over several years. Once the initial framework is constructed, it requires only about 6-8 hours to recast the material for the coming year.

The benefit of doing this work is that, after it is done, it frees up your mind to spend maximum energy on execution rather than debating with yourself over every decision. You can confidently turn down opportunities if they do not fit your strategic plan, which creates more energy for your key drivers. Most of all, you will have the feeling that you are really charting your own course through life rather than just reacting to things that constantly come up.

I advocate some form of individual plan for every person. It does not need to be as extensive as my process, but if you will carve out a few hours every year to think about your own trajectory, your chances of living the kind of life you want will be greatly enhanced.

The process will not stop you from having setbacks or periods of angst. Life has a few “curve balls” for each of us every year. As Lou Holtz stated in Do Right, “I’m going to have at least three crises in the next 12 months, and so are you. But let me say this, and I believe it from the bottom of my heart. I have never seen a crisis that did not make us stronger if we reacted positively to it. We can all benefit from crises in our lives because they are going to happen, and a crisis is just another way to test the greatness of an individual.”

The benefit of having a concrete plan is that the vicissitudes of life will be more like ripples than tidal waves. You will be able to accomplish more in a year or two than you would otherwise do in 10 to 20 years. That is well worth one day a year to focus on your goals and strategy. Besides, it is kind of fun to invest in yourself in this way.