Building Higher Trust 132 Building Trust When Your Boss Doesn’t

September 29, 2023

What can you do if your boss isn’t building trust? In my work with leaders who are trying to build higher trust, I often hear the following complaint. A manager will say, “Your material is excellent, but my boss does things that destroy trust almost daily.”

This conundrum is not as rare as you might think. It is actually a common problem.

Tips on building trust when your boss doesn’t

Recognize you are not alone

Nearly every company is under extreme pressure these days.  The condition was exacerbated by the recent pandemic. Coming out of the pandemic lockdown, many leaders forced attendance rules on a population that was not receptive. These rigid rules lowered trust in many organizations.

When your boss isn’t building trust, it is difficult to fix

My favorite quote on this problem is attributed to George Bernard Shaw. “Never wrestle a pig. You get all muddy and the pig loves it.” The best approach is to suggest that approaches do exist that can produce better results.

You might suggest some leadership training, but that direct approach will likely backfire.  Most managers with low emotional intelligence have a huge blind spot. They simply do not recognize themselves as the source of their problems.

Book review lunch club

One approach that sometimes helps is to form a lunch and learn group where everyone, including the boss, is given some training. It helps if the boss gets to nominate the first couple of books for review.

Don’t whine that the boss is clueless

Complaining does not help people in the organization feel better.

Operate a high-trust operation in the environment you influence

Lead by example. Establish a great culture of trust within your group. Demonstrate the power of an excellent culture for all to see. Keep a positive attitude, even though it can be tough at times. Groups that enjoy high trust are usually upbeat and positive. They are also more than twice as productive.

Conclusion

If your boss is not an expert at building a high-trust organization you have a tricky situation. Considering the boss as the enemy will take you in the wrong direction. Use the tips above to make notable progress in your culture. Everyone will thank you for it.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763.

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Leadership Barometer 205 Monitor Stress Levels

July 19, 2023

Every leader should have a “check engine light” to monitor stress levels. To say that leaders have been under unusual stress over the past three years would be a huge understatement.

The function of a check engine light

When something is wrong with the engine in your car, it is not always evident to you.  The car seems to be performing normally. There is a problem lurking under the hood that will eventually need attention. The check engine light comes on so you can get it checked out before a catastrophic failure occurs.

My own experience

For a couple of years in my mid-career, I was dealing with too many stressors in my life.  My parents, who lived three hours away, were elderly and needed attention every week.  My workload just went up by 30% as I inherited three large departments making a total of twelve reporting to me. There were some health situations in my family that were scary. My home needed some repairs and a fresh coat of paint, but I had no time.

I honestly did not feel as though the stresses were too much for me to handle. I was “toughing it out” on a daily basis. Then, one morning after eating a bowl of cereal, I stood up and collapsed onto the floor. Later that day I checked my blood pressure at a health station at work. It was off the charts.

How I monitor stress levels

I started using blood pressure as a surrogate for my own check engine light.  I read my pressure several times each morning. I throw away the high number and the low number and average the rest.  That becomes a point on a graph that I have been maintaining for over 20 years.

Over 90 percent of the time I am within a small range in good control.  Occasionally, for no apparent reason, the chart will bounce up to an abnormal range for several days.  I am not aware of anything driving the change, but because of the signal, I can investigate.  Usually, I can identify the source of additional stress and eliminate it.  For example, I might be taking some antibiotics because of an infection.  I might be dealing with a membership issue in a volunteer organization.  I may be concerned because a trusted friend is acting irrationally. 

The cause is usually apparent

Whatever the cause, I soon figure out the reason for my change in condition.  Once I know the problem, it is normally an easy fix, and my pressure returns to the historic average. 

Conclusion

I recommend some form of a check engine light for all professionals.  It does not need to be blood pressure. Some people monitor their weight, others have a spouse tell them when they seem off the deep end. The idea is to have some signal that taps you on the shoulder when things are abnormal. It can save your life.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPLP, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change, The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763

 

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Building Higher Trust 131 Smart Trust

July 16, 2023

Stephen M.R. Covey coined the term “Smart Trust” in his second book. The title was Smart Trust: Creating Prosperity, Energy, and Joy in a Low-Trust World.

Smart Trust refers to a high-trust approach that combines discernment and analysis with a willingness to trust others. It involves making informed judgments about the trustworthiness of individuals or situations based on evidence, credibility, and past performance.

Smart Trust in contrast to blind trust

Blind trust, refers to placing trust without verifying relevant information or assessing the credibility of individuals or situations. It involves accepting information, claims, or the actions of others without critical evaluation or validation.

In Smart Trust, trust is not given blindly. It is based on a thoughtful analysis of the situation and the people involved. The book emphasizes the importance of balancing trust and healthy skepticism. It involves assessing risk and considering factors such as competence, integrity, and track record.

Smart Trust requires balance

Blind trust can lead to vulnerability and potential negative outcomes. In contrast, Smart Trust seeks to strike a balance between trust and discernment. It encourages individuals to be open to trust and make informed decisions about whom to trust and when.

One of my favorite quotes from Covey’s book is, “Though we’ve become very good at recognizing the cost of trusting too much, we’re not nearly as good at recognizing the cost of not trusting enough.”

Here are some suggestions to avoid falling into blind trust:

  1. Be aware of your own biases. Recognize that humans are prone to biases, which can cloud judgment and lead to blind trust. Stay vigilant and question your own assumptions and preconceived notions.
  2. Verify information. Rather than accepting information at face value, take the time to verify it from reliable sources. Cross-reference information, fact-check claims, and seek multiple perspectives before forming conclusions.
  3. Develop critical thinking skills. Cultivate your ability to think critically and analytically. Ask probing questions, and consider alternative explanations, to avoid blindly accepting information or opinions.
  4. Seek diverse perspectives. Engage with people who hold different viewpoints and perspectives. This habit helps you gain a broader understanding of issues. It prevents you from relying solely on one source or viewpoint.
  5. Evaluate credibility and expertise. Assess the credibility and expertise of individuals or sources before placing trust in them. Consider their track record, qualifications, experience, and reputation in the relevant field.
  6. Trust but verify. It is important to have a certain level of trust in relationships and interactions but avoid blind trust. Trust should be built gradually based on evidence, consistency, and reliability. Verify information and observe actions to ensure they align with the trust you place in someone.
  7. Embrace healthy skepticism. Adopt a healthy level of skepticism without being overly cynical. Question claims, seek evidence, and be open to changing your beliefs based on new information.
  8. Learn from past experiences. Reflect on instances where blind trust may have led to negative outcomes. Use those experiences as learning opportunities to develop a more discerning and cautious approach.

Remember that avoiding blind trust does not mean becoming overly suspicious or distrusting of everyone. The best idea is to maintain a balanced and rational approach. Question when necessary, and make informed decisions based on evidence and critical thinking.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763.

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Leadership Barometer 204 Leaders as Artists

July 11, 2023

For the last 50 years of his life, my father was an artist. He painted thousands of pictures from all over the world and died just short of 102. For the last five years of his life, he was too feeble to travel and was totally blind.  He had to experience scenes and paint them vicariously. That condition did not dim his enthusiasm for the thrill of painting.

Two days before he died, he told me he would paint me pictures from heaven. Whenever I look at a beautiful sunset or a special tree, I can see his handiwork.

I learned many skills from my father over the years.  I did not learn to paint myself, but I did realize a valuable lesson about leadership.  In my first book, I make the following statement about leaders. Leaders become the artists who carefully paint the picture of a better future on the canvas of today’s paradigm (pg 119)

Artists paint pictures to impact organizations

By painting a picture of an improved organization, leaders create optimism and enthusiasm. People can see for themselves how the world they will experience is better than the one they have. That realization creates a sense of excitement that helps the organization reach its vision.

Values and Vision are the most important

There are all kinds of statements in a typical strategic plan for an organization. Here is a listing of the statements I try to include in any strategic document.

  • Values
  • Vision
  • Mission
  • Purpose
  • Behaviors
  • SWOT
  • Required changes
  • Strategies
  • Tactics
  • Measures
  • Goals

That is a lot of information, but I believe the first two items are the most fundamental. 

Values form the foundation for everything that happens in an organization.  Leaders always need to model the values and insist that everyone else in the organization do the same.  The values do you the most good when they are difficult to follow.

Vision is what gives the organization direction and a glimpse of where they are going. Without a good vision, an organization is like a ship without a rudder. More importantly, the vision provides the means to engage everyone in the organization. Leaders who provide a clear vision are like artists who paint the path forward.

Summary

In summary, a good vision provides purpose, alignment, motivation, strategic direction, effective communication, and adaptability to an organization. It serves as a unifying force, driving collective efforts and inspiring individuals to achieve shared goals. Make sure the leaders of your organization see their role as the artists of the future.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPLP, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change, The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763

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Reducing Conflict 100 The Cost of Conflict

July 10, 2023

Intergroup conflict is a fact of life wherever there are people involved.  The phenomenon can be observed from small groups of children in kindergarten to worldwide nuclear superpowers. We see ample evidence every day in the government.  In this article, I will focus on groups in a professional work setting.

We know there are costs to the organization of parochial groups bickering. We may look past some of the symptoms and damage that is happening. It may be a lot more costly than we recognize. Intergroup conflict can have various costs, both tangible and intangible.

Here are some of the common costs associated with intergroup conflict:

  1. Economic Costs. Intergroup friction can lead to significant economic losses. It can disrupt business activities, decrease productivity, and damage infrastructure. Disruptions in supply chains, reduced consumer confidence, and increased costs of doing business are all potential economic consequences.
  2. Financial Losses. Conflict often results in financial losses due to increased expenditures on security measures, legal fees, and dispute resolution processes. Additionally, intergroup confrontation can discourage investors or volunteers.
  3. Human Casualties. In severe cases, intergroup disputes can result in physical injuries or even loss of life. When things spiral out of control, the situation becomes increasingly dangerous.
  4. Emotional Impact. Conflict can have profound psychological and emotional effects on individuals. Fear, stress, anxiety, and trauma are common outcomes of intergroup struggles.
  5. Social Fragmentation. Intergroup conflict can lead to social fragmentation and erode social cohesion. It can exacerbate existing tensions and contribute to the breakdown of trust and cooperation between different groups.
  6. Opportunity Costs. Intergroup conflicts divert resources, attention, and energy away from productive activities. These opportunity costs can slow progress and hinder the overall development of the organization.
  7. Sabotage. Conflict can lead to the destruction of tangible assets through sabotage.

Conclusion

It is important to note that the costs of intergroup discord will vary depending on the intensity. The damages will be different based on the particular situation. The important point is to be alert to the scope of the damage being done by intergroup conflict.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Building Higher Trust 130 Avoid Withdrawals

July 6, 2023

Trust between people is like a bank account: make lots of deposits and avoid withdrawals.

There are numerous habits that can help you achieve a higher balance of trust. A few of the important ways are listed below.

Key ideas to avoid withdrawals

  1. Extend Trust. By extending trust first in a relationship, you are putting the train on the track in the right direction. Remember that trust is reciprocal.
  2. Be reliable and consistent. Consistently follow through on your commitments and promises. This action builds a sense of trust as others can rely on you to “walk your talk”.
  3. Maintain open and honest communication. Be transparent in your communication with others. Avoid withholding important information or deceiving them, as this erodes trust. Encourage open dialogue and actively listen to the concerns and perspectives of others.
  4. Keep confidentiality. Respect the privacy and confidentiality of others. Avoid sharing sensitive information without permission.
  5. Be dependable and supportive. Be there for others when they need you. Offer assistance, lend a listening ear, and provide support when someone is going through challenging times. Showing that you care and can be relied upon strengthens trust. Remember that empathy shows more in your body language than in your words.
  6. Avoid gossip and negative talk. Refrain from engaging in gossip or spreading rumors about others. Engaging in negative talk usually results in a trust withdrawal.
  7. Maintain consistency in behavior. Consistency in your actions and behavior helps build trust. Avoid being unpredictable or acting in ways that contradict your words. People are more likely to trust those who demonstrate reliability and consistency over time.
  8. Admit mistakes and take responsibility. When you make a mistake, own up to it and take responsibility. Avoid making excuses or shifting blame onto others. Demonstrating accountability and a willingness to rectify errors can help rebuild trust.
  9. Respect boundaries and commitments. Honor personal boundaries and commitments made with others. Show respect for their time, opinions, and decisions. Respecting boundaries fosters a sense of trust and mutual understanding.
  10. Be trustworthy yourself. Trustworthiness is a two-way street. To expect others to trust you, you must also demonstrate trustworthiness in your actions and words. Build trust by being honest, reliable, and accountable in your interactions.
  11. Do the right thing. If you always do the right thing, even when nobody else knows, you build confidence in yourself. You must have trust in yourself before you can build trust with others.

By avoiding withdrawals and making lots of deposits along the way, you will ensure a high balance of trust. Remember that building and maintaining trust takes time and consistent effort. It is essential to be patient and understanding, as trust can be fragile and easily damaged.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763.

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Reducing Conflict 99 Too Much Conflict

July 4, 2023

There are many sources of conflict within any organization. I will describe the general situation in an organization with low discord. Then, I will share give some specific causes of why conflict flares up in weak cultures.

Some organizations experience a lot of friction and others do not.  That observation provides a clue to how to control it.

Why does conflict in organizations occur?

The most basic cause of organizational conflict is weak leadership. Where we see excellent leadership at work there is very little discord.  That generalization is because excellent leaders create the kind of culture that does not support disputes. Sure, there are going to be differences of opinion, but a strong culture of trust beats back systemic struggles.

A culture of trust means that people respect others and support them where possible. Differences do occur, but they are usually resolved quickly due to good communication.

Friction between groups is possible, but it does not become a long-term issue. The groups discuss their issues and come up with compromises. Since respect and trust are the underlying cultures, struggles are short-lived.

What are the root causes of fights that persist in weak cultures?

  1. Communication breakdown. Miscommunication or lack of effective communication can lead to disputes. Many times people do not understand the other side.
  2. Differences in goals and objectives. When individuals or departments within an organization have conflicting goals or objectives, it can result in discord. Each party may prioritize their own objectives, leading to disagreements and clashes.
  3. Limited resources. Controversy can arise when there are limited resources, such as budget, staff, time, or equipment. Competing for scarce resources can cause tensions between individuals or departments within an organization.
  4. Power struggles. Organizations often have hierarchies and power structures. Controversy can arise when there are struggles for power, influence, or control. Power imbalances, perceived favoritism, or clashes between different departments or individuals can lead to discord.
  5. Differences in values and beliefs. Diverse organizations bring together individuals with different backgrounds, values, and beliefs. When these differences clash, problems can arise. Disagreements on how things should be done, differing ethical perspectives, or cultural clashes can contribute to friction.
  6. Organizational change. Major changes within an organization, such as restructuring, mergers, or new leadership, can create conflict. People may resist change or have different ideas about the direction the organization should take.
  7. Role ambiguity. When roles and responsibilities within an organization are unclear or overlapping, controversy can arise. Uncertainty about who is responsible for what can result in misunderstandings, finger-pointing, and discord among team members.
  8. Interpersonal dynamics. Differences in personalities, work styles, or communication styles among employees can lead to conflicts. Conflicting personalities or personal issues that spill into the workplace can disrupt teamwork and create tension.

Summary

The best way to avoid confrontation in an organization is to have a culture of high trust and respect. Leaders create an atmosphere in which trust will grow.  Organizations must recognize and address the sources of conflict proactively to foster a healthy and productive work environment.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Leadership Barometer 203 Leadership Essentials

June 28, 2023

Despite the thousands of articles and books about leadership, some stubborn myths remain.  One myth that bothers me is that really good leadership is remarkably difficult.  Hogwash: really good leadership is simple. 

Let’s examine a short list of the things that are not needed to be a great leader. Then, I will contrast them with another list of things that are essential. 

Things not needed to be a great leader

  1. You do not need to be brilliant. Sure, you do need a functioning brain and the ability to conceptualize options. There are plenty of thinkers in every organization. The leader does not need to be super intelligent. If you push it to the extreme, a leader with a genius IQ will sometimes have trouble relating to people.
  2. You do not have to be perfect. Leaders who concentrate on doing everything correctly miss big opportunities because they have a low tolerance for risk. Making foolish blunders is not the mark of a great leader. However, a person who is willing to take calculated risks generally makes a better leader.  The ability to make an honest mistake and admit it to people shows the leader is vulnerable. That trait is an endearing characteristic that builds trust in most circumstances.
  3. You do not need to look the part. I have studied successful and struggling leaders in organizations of all types. The top echelon of leaders in most cases are indistinguishable from their underlings. Some of the best leaders I have ever met wear a polo shirt to work.
  4. You do not need to be a workaholic. Successful leaders do work hard, but the best ones recognize that to be exceptional, they need balance. They take the time to refresh and enjoy an active family and social life.

Things you must have to be a great leader

  1. You must have a set of positive values. Not only must a leader have values, but he or she must adhere to them at all times. When I ask a CEO if he always follows his values, I often hear weasel words. He will say, “Well… we try to always follow our values, but sometimes it is very difficult.”  Rubbish! When things are most difficult is when following your values is most important.
  2. You must have high Emotional Intelligence. Bradberry and Greaves in Emotional Intelligence 2.0, define the term. EQ is, “Your ability to understand emotions, and your skill at being able to use that awareness to manage yourself and your relationships with others.” Leaders with low EQ have significant blind spots, as noted by Daniel Goleman. They cannot see their own inconsistencies.
  3. You must have passion and humility. The rare combination of leadership traits was highlighted in Good to Great, by Jim Collins.  The passion for the vision allows a leader to have the stamina and tenacity to pursue challenging work. Humility keeps the leader from being too aloof with people. 
  4. You must have great people skills. You need to be able to work well with people at all levels consistently over time. All of the people skills are important with special emphasis on communication skills. 

Of course, we could name hundreds of other things that leaders either need or do not need to be great. These eight factors are important things that I often see being confused by incumbent leaders. Don’t spend most of your energy pursuing the traits that are not needed and not enough on essential traits. You are going to come up short as a leader. 

Exercise for you

Try to expand on my list of the things that are not needed. Also, augment the things that are essential to be a great leader.  It will clarify your thinking about what is important, which will lead to growth for you.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPLP, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change, The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763

 

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Reducing Conflict 98 Verify

June 25, 2023

Any time you are in conflict with another person, it is vital to verify understanding. You may have misunderstood the other person’s thinking. You may have miscommunicated your own point of view. Each of you may have differing perspectives on what is going on.  There are several ways to verify the different points of view. 

In this article, I will share some common ways to verify understanding. I will also give several reasons why verification helps reduce conflict.

Have each party summarize key points to verify

Each party can summarize the key logic behind why they believe as they do.  This summary is a way to check that both parties heard the other person accurately. The key points should be listed in brief statements and not couched in long rationalizations. The role of this step is to ensure the key points of contention are clearly understood in both directions.

Reverse roles

It sometimes helps if both people reverse roles. That is, you attempt to argue for the points made by the other person and visa-versa. One caveat with this technique is that both parties must play the game fairly.  If I am articulating your side of an issue, I must fully engage in your logic. That also helps to verify understanding.

Solicit the help of a neutral third party

Sometimes having a mediator listen to both sides and describe the issue can help clear the air. You need to verify the third party is truly neutral or the issue starts out as two against one.

Some reasons to verify your understanding

  1. Accuracy. Verifying your understanding allows you to ensure that you have an accurate picture of the situation. It helps ensure that you have correctly interpreted the information. You minimize the problem of false assumptions.
  2. Clarity. Conflict can be caused by ambiguity or lack of clarity. This process helps you gain a clear picture of the other person’s perspective, intentions, or concerns. It also gives them an opportunity to clarify their position, leading to better communication.
  3. Empathy. Verifying your understanding demonstrates empathy and a willingness to listen to the other person’s point of view. It shows that you value their perspective and are open to considering their thoughts and feelings. This empathetic approach can help de-escalate tensions and foster a more constructive dialogue.
  4. Problem-Solving. Verifying your understanding is crucial for effective problem-solving during conflicts. It allows you to identify the root causes of the conflict and find common ground or shared objectives. You can work together to find mutually beneficial solutions and move towards resolution.
  5. Building Trust. Trust is often eroded during conflicts. When you verify, you demonstrate a genuine commitment to resolving the conflict and rebuilding trust. It shows that you are invested in open and honest communication. This verification can lay the foundation for improved relationships in the future.

Summary

Verifying your understanding plays a vital role in conflict resolution. It helps ensure accuracy, clarity, empathy, problem-solving, and the restoration of trust. By taking the time to clarify and confirm your understanding, you increase the likelihood of finding common ground. You are more likely to reach a resolution that satisfies all parties involved.

 

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Building Higher Trust 129 Favoritism

June 22, 2023

When leaders practice favoritism, it usually lowers trust. This article is about the relationship between the two concepts.

I believe that it is the perception of favoritism that does the most damage. Leaders need to be aware of the perception they are giving. Many of them are unaware of the damage they are doing.

Shining a light on favoritism

In a prior article several months ago, I shared some information on playing favorites. The title of the article was Leadership Barometer 181 Avoid Playing Favorites. I gave four specific actions a leader can take to reduce the problem. In this article, I want to explore the mindsets that can prevent the appearance of favoritism.

Why it is always negative

The word, favoritism, has a negative connotation in any context.  It is particularly difficult when leaders practice favoritism. When one person is favored over others in an organization it creates jealousy that often leads to conflict. The concept works against equity and fairness. Leaders who appear to practice favoritism are considered weak or clueless by the people they lead.

It is ubiquitous

The problem is that all human beings have some people they favor more than others. It is human nature, and none of us can avoid it in some form. We are all guilty of practicing favoritism at some point. How can we avoid the stigma that goes along with this common behavior? Here are some ideas that can help.

Recognize when you are doing it

Whenever you are repeating the same resource to do a job or perform a function, other people will notice.  You need to be aware that you are doing it so you can make a conscious effort to consider an alternative. If there is some kind of credential that the person you select has that others do not, so state. Do not assume that people will figure out why you habitually go with one individual.

Consider a different approach

If you are a leader, take the opportunity to reduce the appearance of favoritism in your decisions.  Think about the following actions that can make your decisions appear to be more equitable.

Establish clear criteria for assignments.

Avoid favoring certain individuals based on personal biases.

Encourage open communication about any concerns.

Base decisions on merit.

Distribute rewards and opportunities fairly.

Document and communicate decisions.

Rotate responsibilities and opportunities.

Offer a variety of opportunities for growth and development to all team members.

Involve other leaders or managers to provide diverse viewpoints and minimize the perception of bias.

Lead by example: Demonstrate fairness and impartiality in your own behavior.

Avoid engaging in conversations or actions that may give the impression of favoritism.

Model the behavior you expect from your team members.

Provide feedback and coaching: Offer constructive feedback and guidance to all team members.

Remember, building a reputation for fairness and objectivity takes time and consistent effort. By following these strategies, you can reduce the perception of playing favorites and create a more inclusive and productive work environment.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.  For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763.

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