Building Higher Trust Archives -

Building Higher Trust 132 Building Trust When Your Boss Doesn’t

September 29, 2023

What can you do if your boss isn’t building trust? In my work with leaders who are trying to build higher trust, I often hear the following complaint. A manager will say, “Your material is excellent, but my boss does things that destroy trust almost daily.”

This conundrum is not as rare as you might think. It is actually a common problem.

Tips on building trust when your boss doesn’t

Recognize you are not alone

Nearly every company is under extreme pressure these days. The condition was exacerbated by the recent pandemic. Coming out of the pandemic lockdown, many leaders forced attendance rules on a population that was not receptive. These rigid rules lowered trust in many organizations.

When your boss isn’t building trust, it is difficult to fix

My favorite quote on this problem is attributed to George Bernard Shaw. “Never wrestle a pig. You get all muddy and the pig loves it.” The best approach is to suggest that approaches do exist that can produce better results.

You might suggest some leadership training, but that direct approach will likely backfire. Most managers with low emotional intelligence have a huge blind spot. They simply do not recognize themselves as the source of their problems.

Book review lunch club

One approach that sometimes helps is to form a lunch and learn group where everyone, including the boss, is given some training. It helps if the boss gets to nominate the first couple of books for review.

Don’t whine that the boss is clueless

Complaining does not help people in the organization feel better.

Operate a high-trust operation in the environment you influence

Lead by example. Establish a great culture of trust within your group. Demonstrate the power of an excellent culture for all to see. Keep a positive attitude, even though it can be tough at times. Groups that enjoy high trust are usually upbeat and positive. They are also more than twice as productive.

Conclusion

If your boss is not an expert at building a high-trust organization you have a tricky situation. Considering the boss as the enemy will take you in the wrong direction. Use the tips above to make notable progress in your culture. Everyone will thank you for it.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763.

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Building Higher Trust 131 Smart Trust

July 16, 2023

Stephen M.R. Covey coined the term “Smart Trust” in his second book. The title was Smart Trust: Creating Prosperity, Energy, and Joy in a Low-Trust World.

Smart Trust refers to a high-trust approach that combines discernment and analysis with a willingness to trust others. It involves making informed judgments about the trustworthiness of individuals or situations based on evidence, credibility, and past performance.

Smart Trust in contrast to blind trust

Blind trust, refers to placing trust without verifying relevant information or assessing the credibility of individuals or situations. It involves accepting information, claims, or the actions of others without critical evaluation or validation.

In Smart Trust, trust is not given blindly. It is based on a thoughtful analysis of the situation and the people involved. The book emphasizes the importance of balancing trust and healthy skepticism. It involves assessing risk and considering factors such as competence, integrity, and track record.

Smart Trust requires balance

Blind trust can lead to vulnerability and potential negative outcomes. In contrast, Smart Trust seeks to strike a balance between trust and discernment. It encourages individuals to be open to trust and make informed decisions about whom to trust and when.

One of my favorite quotes from Covey’s book is, “Though we’ve become very good at recognizing the cost of trusting too much, we’re not nearly as good at recognizing the cost of not trusting enough.”

Here are some suggestions to avoid falling into blind trust:

Be aware of your own biases. Recognize that humans are prone to biases, which can cloud judgment and lead to blind trust. Stay vigilant and question your own assumptions and preconceived notions.
Verify information. Rather than accepting information at face value, take the time to verify it from reliable sources. Cross-reference information, fact-check claims, and seek multiple perspectives before forming conclusions.
Develop critical thinking skills. Cultivate your ability to think critically and analytically. Ask probing questions, and consider alternative explanations, to avoid blindly accepting information or opinions.
Seek diverse perspectives. Engage with people who hold different viewpoints and perspectives. This habit helps you gain a broader understanding of issues. It prevents you from relying solely on one source or viewpoint.
Evaluate credibility and expertise. Assess the credibility and expertise of individuals or sources before placing trust in them. Consider their track record, qualifications, experience, and reputation in the relevant field.
Trust but verify. It is important to have a certain level of trust in relationships and interactions but avoid blind trust. Trust should be built gradually based on evidence, consistency, and reliability. Verify information and observe actions to ensure they align with the trust you place in someone.
Embrace healthy skepticism. Adopt a healthy level of skepticism without being overly cynical. Question claims, seek evidence, and be open to changing your beliefs based on new information.
Learn from past experiences. Reflect on instances where blind trust may have led to negative outcomes. Use those experiences as learning opportunities to develop a more discerning and cautious approach.

Remember that avoiding blind trust does not mean becoming overly suspicious or distrusting of everyone. The best idea is to maintain a balanced and rational approach. Question when necessary, and make informed decisions based on evidence and critical thinking.

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Building Higher Trust 130 Avoid Withdrawals

July 6, 2023

Trust between people is like a bank account: make lots of deposits and avoid withdrawals.

There are numerous habits that can help you achieve a higher balance of trust. A few of the important ways are listed below.

Key ideas to avoid withdrawals

Extend Trust. By extending trust first in a relationship, you are putting the train on the track in the right direction. Remember that trust is reciprocal.
Be reliable and consistent. Consistently follow through on your commitments and promises. This action builds a sense of trust as others can rely on you to “walk your talk”.
Maintain open and honest communication. Be transparent in your communication with others. Avoid withholding important information or deceiving them, as this erodes trust. Encourage open dialogue and actively listen to the concerns and perspectives of others.
Keep confidentiality. Respect the privacy and confidentiality of others. Avoid sharing sensitive information without permission.
Be dependable and supportive. Be there for others when they need you. Offer assistance, lend a listening ear, and provide support when someone is going through challenging times. Showing that you care and can be relied upon strengthens trust. Remember that empathy shows more in your body language than in your words.
Avoid gossip and negative talk. Refrain from engaging in gossip or spreading rumors about others. Engaging in negative talk usually results in a trust withdrawal.
Maintain consistency in behavior. Consistency in your actions and behavior helps build trust. Avoid being unpredictable or acting in ways that contradict your words. People are more likely to trust those who demonstrate reliability and consistency over time.
Admit mistakes and take responsibility. When you make a mistake, own up to it and take responsibility. Avoid making excuses or shifting blame onto others. Demonstrating accountability and a willingness to rectify errors can help rebuild trust.
Respect boundaries and commitments. Honor personal boundaries and commitments made with others. Show respect for their time, opinions, and decisions. Respecting boundaries fosters a sense of trust and mutual understanding.
Be trustworthy yourself. Trustworthiness is a two-way street. To expect others to trust you, you must also demonstrate trustworthiness in your actions and words. Build trust by being honest, reliable, and accountable in your interactions.
Do the right thing. If you always do the right thing, even when nobody else knows, you build confidence in yourself. You must have trust in yourself before you can build trust with others.

By avoiding withdrawals and making lots of deposits along the way, you will ensure a high balance of trust. Remember that building and maintaining trust takes time and consistent effort. It is essential to be patient and understanding, as trust can be fragile and easily damaged.

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Building Higher Trust 129 Favoritism

June 22, 2023

When leaders practice favoritism, it usually lowers trust. This article is about the relationship between the two concepts.

I believe that it is the perception of favoritism that does the most damage. Leaders need to be aware of the perception they are giving. Many of them are unaware of the damage they are doing.

Shining a light on favoritism

In a prior article several months ago, I shared some information on playing favorites. The title of the article was Leadership Barometer 181 Avoid Playing Favorites. I gave four specific actions a leader can take to reduce the problem. In this article, I want to explore the mindsets that can prevent the appearance of favoritism.

Why it is always negative

The word, favoritism, has a negative connotation in any context. It is particularly difficult when leaders practice favoritism. When one person is favored over others in an organization it creates jealousy that often leads to conflict. The concept works against equity and fairness. Leaders who appear to practice favoritism are considered weak or clueless by the people they lead.

It is ubiquitous

The problem is that all human beings have some people they favor more than others. It is human nature, and none of us can avoid it in some form. We are all guilty of practicing favoritism at some point. How can we avoid the stigma that goes along with this common behavior? Here are some ideas that can help.

Recognize when you are doing it

Whenever you are repeating the same resource to do a job or perform a function, other people will notice. You need to be aware that you are doing it so you can make a conscious effort to consider an alternative. If there is some kind of credential that the person you select has that others do not, so state. Do not assume that people will figure out why you habitually go with one individual.

Consider a different approach

If you are a leader, take the opportunity to reduce the appearance of favoritism in your decisions. Think about the following actions that can make your decisions appear to be more equitable.

Establish clear criteria for assignments.

Avoid favoring certain individuals based on personal biases.

Encourage open communication about any concerns.

Base decisions on merit.

Distribute rewards and opportunities fairly.

Document and communicate decisions.

Rotate responsibilities and opportunities.

Offer a variety of opportunities for growth and development to all team members.

Involve other leaders or managers to provide diverse viewpoints and minimize the perception of bias.

Lead by example: Demonstrate fairness and impartiality in your own behavior.

Avoid engaging in conversations or actions that may give the impression of favoritism.

Model the behavior you expect from your team members.

Provide feedback and coaching: Offer constructive feedback and guidance to all team members.

Remember, building a reputation for fairness and objectivity takes time and consistent effort. By following these strategies, you can reduce the perception of playing favorites and create a more inclusive and productive work environment.

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Building Higher Trust 128 Trust and Vulnerability

June 16, 2023

Think about the relationship between the principles of trust and vulnerability. The two concepts are not the same, but they are interrelated in numerous ways. This article will describe some of the most common relationships between trust and vulnerability.

Defining trust and vulnerability

As soon as we try to define trust, the concept of vulnerability surfaces as part of the thinking process. Vulnerability refers to the state of being exposed or susceptible to harm, emotionally or physically

Charles Feltman gave the best definition of trust I have seen in his book, The Thin Book of Trust. Charles embeds the concept of vulnerability into his definition of trust. He posits that trust is “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”

Trust implies vulnerability

When we trust someone, we make ourselves vulnerable to them. Trust requires us to let our guard down. We reveal our thoughts and rely on the other person to respect and handle that vulnerability with care. In a trusting relationship, individuals feel safe enough to share their true selves. They express their needs and desires and take emotional risks without fear of judgment, betrayal, or exploitation.

However, the act of being vulnerable also opens us up to the potential for harm or disappointment. When we trust someone, we are essentially placing a part of our well-being in their hands. If that trust is violated, it can lead to emotional pain, betrayal, and a loss of security.

The concepts go hand in hand

Trust and vulnerability go hand in hand. The more vulnerable we allow ourselves to be, the more trust is required. Also, the more trust we place in someone, the more vulnerable we become.

The process of verification requires time

Building trust in relationships often involves a gradual process of testing and evaluating the other person’s trustworthiness over time. It requires consistent demonstration of reliability, honesty, and respect. As trust is established and confirmed, we feel more comfortable being vulnerable with each other.

Conversely, a lack of trust can hinder vulnerability. If individuals do not feel safe or secure in a relationship, they may be hesitant to be vulnerable. They fear that their vulnerability will be exploited or used against them. In such cases, the absence of trust can create barriers to open communication, emotional intimacy, and personal growth.

Summary

Trust and vulnerability are interconnected. Trust enables individuals to open themselves up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability necessitates trust in order to feel safe and secure. Both elements are essential for building healthy, meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

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Building Higher Trust 127 Actions to Build Humility

June 1, 2023

One thing any leader can do to foster more trust is to practice humility. You have likely experienced ego-centered leaders who don’t develop trust with their people.

They have all the answers and bully people into doing their bidding. The things a leader can do to become a more humble person are not always obvious.

Several months ago, I wrote another article on humility that addressed why humility is so important. In this article, I will share ten specific actions a leader can practice to develop more humility.

How can leaders improve their level of humility?

Humility is a valuable trait that fosters collaboration, empathy, and a willingness to learn. Here are ten things a leader can do to develop more humility

Practice self-reflection

Take time for introspection and evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses honestly. Acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers and that you can learn from others.

Seek feedback

Actively encourage and welcome feedback from your team, peers, and mentors. Listen openly to different perspectives, even if they challenge your own ideas. Consider constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth. When people bring up a contrary opinion, make them glad they brought it up.

Practice active listening

When engaging in conversations, genuinely listen to others without interrupting or dominating the conversation. Show interest and respect for their viewpoints and experiences. Keep a mental score sheet and make sure you are listening more than talking. This practice is especially important after heavy conversations. Make sure the air time is evenly distributed or weighted more toward the other person.

Share credit and recognize contributions

Give credit where it is due and acknowledge the efforts and achievements of other people. Avoid taking credit solely for yourself and emphasize collective success.

Admit mistakes and take responsibility

Acknowledge and own up to your mistakes. Apologize when necessary and focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. This action demonstrates humility and a commitment to personal and professional growth.

Learn from others

Recognize that you can learn from people at all levels of the organization. Encourage sharing and create opportunities for mentorship or reverse mentoring. Thank people who share their knowledge with you.

Practice empathy and compassion

Cultivate empathy by putting yourself in others’ shoes and considering their feelings, needs, and perspectives. Treat everyone with kindness, respect, and fairness. Keep your tone of voice low and calm. Don’t shout!

Be open to continuous learning

Foster a growth mindset and embrace a mindset of lifelong learning. Stay curious and seek new knowledge and experiences. Encourage a culture of learning within your team or organization.

Lead by example

Model the behaviors and values you expect from others. Show humility in your actions, decisions, and interactions. Demonstrate that humility is a strength and not a weakness.

Cultivate gratitude

Recognize and appreciate the contributions and support of others. Express gratitude regularly, both publicly and privately. Show that you value and acknowledge the efforts of those around you.

Remember that becoming more humble is an ongoing journey. It requires self-awareness, a commitment to personal growth, and consistent practice of these actions.

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Building Higher Trust 126 Try Less Control

May 26, 2023

If you are interested in higher performance, you should try less control. That advice sounds backward, doesn’t it? Typically, the reaction when things are not going well is for managers to add more controls.

The effort is to get more people to do what they are supposed to do, so performance will improve. Only one problem: most of the time greater control translates into lower performance.

Daniel Goleman wrote that when leaders use a coercive style it leads to lower employee motivation. His paper, published in the Harvard Business Review, is entitled Leadership that Gets Results.

Evidence from the pandemic

We saw ample evidence during the COVID Crisis when people were working remotely. Organizations put in tracking systems to ensure employees were working. The resulting loss in motivation gave rise to the great resignation of 2021.

If you find ways to check up on your workers, they find ways to cheat the system or leave.

Controls demonstrate a lack of trust

Management sends a signal that they do not trust people to do the right thing. When managers heap more rules onto the already steaming pile of procedures, people become more disillusioned. They also feel abused and even harassed.

Result: people comply begrudgingly, but will not go beyond simple compliance. The organization suffers as workers leave most of their discretionary effort on the front steps or at home.

Example from Stephen M.R. Covey

His new book, Trust and Inspire, has a lot of information on control. Covey points out that, in the post-pandemic world, the philosophy of command and control no longer works. People become insulted and reduce their level of engagement.

Don’t just throw away all procedures. Some of them are needed for legal purposes or to ensure standard practices in complex and critical situations. Managers should stop trying to account for every situation that might go wrong. They should stop trying to direct people on how to react to every single scenario. Doing that chokes out the creativity and enthusiasm of the workforce.

The secret is to have specific processes only where they are needed. Allow people to use their brains when an off-standard condition requires quick thinking. For example, there may be a set procedure for investigating the situation before granting a customer refund. There will be times when it is wiser to ignore the rule and immediately accept the customer’s word.

Conclusion

When managers allow people to use their God-given intelligence, they nearly always do the right thing. If they make a mistake, it is usually a small one. Don’t make up rules that try to cover every possible situation. What you get is simple compliance. Most of the time you will miss the opportunity to have a fully engaged workforce.

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Building Higher Trust 125 Trust Trials

May 18, 2023

We often see examples where trust is put on trial. A group has put a lot of work and energy into building a culture of trust. Then, some action puts the whole concept in jeopardy.

There are thousands of ways individuals can harpoon a culture of trust. The purpose of this article is to highlight some preventive measures that can avoid the problem.

Recognize the trust equity publicly

If the leader has done a good job of building real trust, it is an asset. Make sure that people feel the benefits of high trust on a daily basis. Do not assume that everyone will be as proactive with support as you are.

You make trust stronger by reiterating and recognizing the tangible benefits to the organization. Use the word daily to further entrench the trust culture.

Identify potential compromises early

Great leaders have a nose for things that could undermine the culture. They can almost see around corners and take preventive measures when some condition might cause backsliding. When they see a potential threat, they launch into damage control immediately to lower the probability of damage.

Praise people for demonstrating trustworthy behaviors

In a positive culture of high trust, people will support trust on a daily basis. The result is an enhancement of the culture. Leaders need to praise people for modeling the proper philosophy. Be careful to not overdo the praise, but daily reminders of what you are trying to achieve do help.

Admit any mistakes or setbacks

If the leader is forthright and apologetic about any missteps, it helps build the culture. It models a low ego. Just be careful not to go around making mistakes. A little contrition goes a long way.

Counsel any people who do not support the culture

It is critical to let people know when they are working against the vision. Most of the time people are not even aware they are undermining the effort. Tell them about the impact of their behavior and ask them to change. If people persist in working against the culture, they should be invited to leave.

Do not tolerate liars

Some people will deny that something happened even after the overwhelming evidence says otherwise. Do not condone that habit. When you allow people to weasel out of responsibility, it brings down the entire culture. You must practice accountability as a way of doing business.

Conclusion

Trust is on trial every day in every organization. It is up to leaders to manage the process so the culture becomes self-sustaining.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Building Higher Trust 124 Consistency

May 11, 2023

Consistency is a noble trait for leaders to possess. In most situations, being consistent will enhance relationships and build trust. The rule is not absolute, however, there are times when being consistent is not the best policy. This article will describe some of the factors that govern when to be consistent and when to show flexibility.

Leading when conditions are changing

If a leader is faced with changing conditions or new information, it may be necessary to adjust their approach. It may be wise to make decisions that are different from those they have made in the past. In such cases, it may be more important to be agile and adaptable than to be consistent.

Consistency versus flexibility

Being consistent does not mean being inflexible. A leader can be consistent in their values and principles, yet be flexible in approach. Be open to feedback and willing to adjust your approach when necessary. Consider the individual needs and personalities of your team members. You must adjust your leadership style accordingly.

Steel and Velvet

In their book Triple Crown Leadership, my friends Bob and Gregg Vanourek introduced a concept called steel and velvet. The idea is that leaders need to be both steel and velvet. They must be firm and unmovable on certain issues, like living the values. They should also be flexible and willing to bend to allow for situations that are negotiable.

The challenge is to know when to be steel and when to be velvet. Bob and Gregg offer some tips on the concept in their landmark book.

The authors posit that great leaders are always on a quest. They are passionate about reaching their goals and doing so the right way. When the quest is threatened, that is when great leaders are like steel. They do not bend. When conditions are softer, it is often better to be flexible and bend as needed. Doing so will provide for maximum engagement of people.

Consistency versus rigidity

When leaders fail to take ambient conditions into account in the name of being consistent, they become rigid. It can be a fine line when to do one thing versus the other. The best advice is to assess the nature of your immediate situation.

Determine if being consistent is right or wrong for this case. Your long-term success as a leader will be greatly influenced by the quality of your choices.

Avoid being too soft

Some leaders are all over the place. They have no consistency, and it hurts their reputation. Make sure you have some principles and use your backbone to stand up for them. If you always bend to make people happier, you will become known as a weak leader.

There is a place for consistency in leadership, but it is an interesting science since being consistent is not always the right answer.

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Building Higher Trust 123 Extend More Trust

May 4, 2023

The best way to build more trust is to extend more trust. At first, it sounds like a poor strategy because not everyone is worthy of your trust. If someone is acting in a non-trustworthy manner, wouldn’t it backfire to extend more trust? The answer is usually no.

There are situations where it is just not smart to extend trust. In most cases, it is a good strategy simply because trust is reciprocal. To see more trust with another person, you should extend more trust.

Example of where it would not be wise to extend more trust

This concept should not be taken literally in every case. Suppose your brother has a severe drinking problem and wants to borrow your car to go to a party. Handing him the keys as a show of trust would be a dangerous strategy. That would not prevent you from showing him more trust in other ways.

Real-life examples are not that extreme

Trusting another person to take your precious dog for a walk would seem like not that much of a risk. It is all a matter of judgment, but if you take the risk, you will likely be heading in the right direction. This analysis is true in nearly all situations.

Video of a real situation

Here is a link to a 3-minute video on this topic. It contains a real story about when I suggested to a leader that he show more trust in his people. The video is entitled Find a Way to Extend More Trust.

Many leaders fall into the trap of demanding their employees show 100% trustworthiness before they will trust them. That strategy is one reason why so many organizations struggle. They are afraid of losing control so they withhold trust, and it works against the culture of the organization.

Logic as given by Stephen M.R. Covey

In his new book Trust and Inspire, Stephen M.R. Covey makes a recommendation along the lines of what I am suggesting here. He points out that when we trust people to do the right thing, we unleash the greatness inside them. The old “command and control” approach to leadership does not work in our world anymore.

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Building Higher Trust 132 Building Trust When Your Boss Doesn’t

Building Higher Trust 131 Smart Trust

Building Higher Trust 130 Avoid Withdrawals

Building Higher Trust 129 Favoritism

Building Higher Trust 128 Trust and Vulnerability

Building Higher Trust 127 Actions to Build Humility

Building Higher Trust 126 Try Less Control

Building Higher Trust 125 Trust Trials

Building Higher Trust 124 Consistency

Building Higher Trust 123 Extend More Trust

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