The First Law of Building Trust

May 3, 2010

What advice do you give others and yourself on how to build higher levels of trust? We all know trust is a key ingredient for any organization to be successful. In these in draconian times, many leaders find the ability to build and maintain trust is next to impossible.

There are countless books and articles on leadership. Many of them focus on the area of building trust. Often these writings focus on what a leader needs to have in order to build trust. For example, one author suggests that a leader must have both credibility and character to garner higher trust. I agree with those two elements, but my focus is on helping leaders change what they do. If you change what you do, then you change who you are, and you get better results.

Of all the trust building skills leaders possess, the ability to reinforce candor is the most powerful and elusive. This is the behavior of making people feel glad when they bring up something a leader has done that they feel is not right. Most leaders find it impossible to reinforce people when they offer a candid critique. Reason: Leaders act from their own paradigm of what is right, so when an employee suggests an action is wrong, they get defensive and push back. This has the effect of punishing the employee for being candid.

If we can teach leaders to reinforce people when they speak their truth, those leaders will have a giant head start at building trust. It is not rocket science: it is much more important than rocket science.

In my business, I coach leaders every day on how to be more effective. There are a thousand things to think about when trying to lead an organization effectively. These skills range from being consistent to preventing the formation of exclusive cliques or even just how to write an effective e-mail message.

The first skill I work to instill in any leader is the ability to reinforce candor. Why? If leaders gain the ability and humility to accomplish this feat, they will find all the other leadership skills and traits come easily. If they cannot reinforce candor, then the other skills or activities of leadership will be blunted and ineffective.

If you are interested in further information on the power of reinforcing candor and how to accomplish it, you can reference the attached white paper. This is a brief (2 ¼ page) excerpt from my latest book Leading with Trust is like Sailing Downwind.
http://www.leadergrow.com/Reinforce-Candor-It-Builds-Trust-and-Transparency.pdf

4 Comments | Candor creates trust, Communications, e-mail, Enabling Actions, leadership, Organization, Trust, Trust and motivation, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Permalink
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Joke or No Joke

February 12, 2010

When people say things in jest, there is usually an element of truth in them. Jokes are often just distortions of reality; that is what makes them humorous. The problem occurs when we make a joke where the punch line puts down another person. This is so common you probably witness it a dozen times a day or more, and it hardly registers because it is ubiquitous. If you are listening for it, you will hear it often.

Unfortunately, when the joke is documented in online exchanges, there isn’t the opportunity for the writer to let the other person know through body language that the barb is totally in jest. Actually, even in person there is usually a part of the barb that is for real. Online, the danger is magnified for two reasons, 1) the person cannot see the facial expression and emoticons often are misinterpreted as well, and 2) e-mails are permanent, so the person can read and re-read the joke. It becomes more menacing with each iteration.

The antidote for this common problem is to establish five behavioral norms in your work group as follows:

  1.  We will not make jokes in any forum at another person’s expense.
  2.  We will praise in public or online but offer constructive criticism face to face in private.
  3.  When there is a disconnect in communication, we will always assume the best intent and check it out.
  4.  If something in an e-mail seems upsetting, it is up to the person who is upset to meet face to face with the other person as soon as possible.
  5.  We will call each other out politely if we see violations of these rules.

These five rules are not difficult, but it does take some training and resolve to get all people in a population to comply with them. It helps to get firm agreement among the entire group and to post the rules in the team meeting area. If you can get people to actually follow the five rules above, it will change the entire complexion of the work group. This is not rocket science; it is much more important than rocket science.

1 Comment | Candor creates trust, Communications, e-mail, HR, leadership, Organization, Teamwork | Permalink
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10 Tips to Manage Your “Stop Doing” List

January 27, 2010

I am sure you have a “To Do” list from time to time. Some people have a list of must do items every day. It is a great method of remaining focused on the highest priority activities. It is rare to run into someone with a “Stop Doing” list. This is a paradigm that you can break if you put some effort into it. I think having a “Stop Doing” list in parallel with the “To Do” variety is extremely helpful. Here are some benefits:

Numbers Game

Most executives are in a perpetual state of overload. That is because in the pressure cooker of day to day activities, more items come onto the plate than can possibly be accomplished. If you doubt that, just take a look at your e-mail inbox. In every meeting there are new action items to be accomplished and precious little time to do them. It is a habitual problem that leads to burnout and even death due to stress. Executives watch the incoming activities closely trying to manage the load. The common refrain is “I have no time to deal with that now.” They often forget to cull out the non-essential things that take up their time. Anything taken off the plate is a reason to celebrate.

Modeling Prioritization

Executives who focus on stopping things show subordinates that time utilization needs to be managed from both ends. Leaders are used to making tough decisions with budgets and other resources, but they sometimes fail to see how their most precious resource (their own time) is being squandered. Those who manage time actively and vocally send a clear message to the entire organization that seconds really do count.

10 Tips to manage your “Stop Doing” List

1. Keep track of what you are doing. If you have a mechanism to actually see how your time is being spent, you can manage it better. I like to think of colors. When I am doing “green” things, it means I am using my time wisely. “Yellow” things have marginal value, and “red” items are really wasting my precious time. Just keep looking for the color. It can be a kind of game as you sit in a meeting and watch the air turn from green to red before your eyes.
2. Delegate more! This has a dual benefit because often people are eager to help out if only given the chance. There is always some risk when delegating, but the benefits far outweigh the risks. Learn the skill of good delegation and press yourself to apply it more than you currently do.
3. Finish things. Don’t dabble in work. Be crisp with completing assignments so your inbox is clear for new items. When something is completed, celebrate for a second because you now have that off the plate.
4. Spend some brainstorming time with your inner circle cleaning house of useless activities.
5. Create a “Sacred Cow Pasture.” This is a visual board where you post paradigms that have been broken where you no longer have to do what used to take up your time. It is refreshing to fill up a “Sacred Cow Pasture.” Everybody benefits! For example it takes courage to admit we no longer need the quality report because our systems have reached a higher standard. How about doing away with the “cost” meeting and substitute an efficient dashboard? The possibilities are endless.
6. Challenge everything. Try a zero based approach to your day where you come in as if you were a new employee. Ask “why am I doing this and what could be done to eliminate the need for it.”
7. Handle your time like a budget. Think of your task list as a fixed number of things – like say 50 things. In order to make room for a new activity, you must take at least one old activity off your prior list.
8. Reward people who bring up ideas for your “Stop Doing” list. If you reinforce this behavior, you not only help yourself, you help the entire organization because everyone will get the bug to eliminate marginal activities.
9. Go on a “Safari” to hunt down and kill at least 3 unnecessary activities. It can be a fun activity once you get into it.
10. Go away! If you are not there to do things, they will get done just fine most of the time. Go out and visit some customers or attend a seminar for your own development. While you are away, have an administrative person keep track of the things that you would have done if you were there. These are all items you can challenge in the future.

Your “Stop Doing” list is as important as your “To Do” list. Don’t neglect it.

2 Comments | Communications, e-mail, Enabling Actions, leadership, Organization, Teamwork, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by trustambassador

E-Mail Resolution

January 1, 2010

The most significant problem with e-mail in every organization I have ever seen is the sheer volume of notes. So many people find it impossible to keep up with the tidal wave of communication coming at them every day. It is a major source of stress, and it hampers good communication because when people are submerged in notes, they do not read the important ones.

I have worked in numerous organizations helping leaders improve their e-mail habits, which also improves the performance of their entire organization. It is possible to reduce the volume of e-mails in an organization by more then 30% with only 4 hours of training. I know this because I have done it several times. All that is needed is for the group to focus on the issues of e-mail problems they have and create a set of ground rules for their group.

The interesting thing is that the ground rules are really very simple, and most of us would say they are common knowledge. Unfortunately in most organizations they are not common practice, so by creating a set of specific rules that are to be used the majority of the time (and there can be rare exceptions) this easily cuts the volume by at least 30% right off the bat.

I recommend that groups create their own set of rules rather than handing them as set of rules made by me. Reason: When the group figures out how to word a concept and agrees to follow it as a rule, it has much more power than any list I could provide. But, for illustration, here are just a few rules that will cut the volume down quickly. You might adopt these rules or make some of your own up.

• Do not participate in any jokes or cartoons at work. Simply do not forward any of these.

• Never use the “reply all” function unless it is absolutely necessary.

• Do not use a standard distribution list unless it is required by the note.

• If a note requires an answer, put a flag in the subject to that effect.

• Keep all notes to less than one page length.

• Use attachments sparingly.

• Spell out action items clearly – who does what by when.

• Use bullets for lists of items more than three in length.

There are many more possible rules. I recommend any organization brainstorm the possibilities and select 10 or so to use. If you do this, you will be amazed at the productivity improvement that is immediately returned to the organization. I know this because I have been able to help groups do it with only a half day of training. It really does work, and people really love it.

3 Comments | Candor creates trust, Communications, e-mail, Enabling Actions, HR, leadership, Organization, Teamwork, Trust, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by trustambassador

12 Do’s and Don’ts for effective online communication

August 13, 2009

We communicate more online now than verbally. In many situations, people send signals that are not consistent with their intentions. Unfortunately, while the rules of excellent e-mail communication are common sense, they are not common practice. These simple 12 rules will allow you to prevent most problems when communicating online.

Overarching consideration – use the right mode of communication. Often e-mail is not the right one.

  1. Do Not treat e-mail like a conversation
  2. Keep messages short
  3. Establish the right Tone upfront
  4. Remember the permanent nature of e-mails
  5. Keep your objective in mind
  6. Do not write notes when you are not yourself
  7. Avoid “e-mail grenade” battles
  8. Be careful with use of pronouns in e-mail
  9. Avoid using absolutes
  10. Avoid sarcasm
  11. Learn techniques to keep your inbox cleaned out
  12. Understand the rules for writing those challenging notes

Read details and tips in white paper – http://www.leadergrow.com/12DosandDontsofEmailCommunication.pdf

3 Comments | Candor creates trust, Communications, e-mail, Enabling Actions, HR, leadership, Trust, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by trustambassador

Learn E-Body Language – Improve your online communications

July 22, 2009

Online communication is so much a part of everyday life that people normally take it for granted. Many of us view e-mail the same as face to face communication; we just type information as if we were chatting with someone in the lunchroom – potentially a big mistake. Learn the advantages of Understanding E-Body Language and decode the messages between the lines. Download attached article. http://www.leadergrow.com/SummaryofUnderstandingE-BodyLanguage.pdf

Leave a Comment » | Communications, e-mail, Enabling Actions, HR, leadership, Organization, Trust, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by trustambassador

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