Leadership Barometer 194 Your Style

April 26, 2023

People have ways of reacting to conditions, and you need to understand your style. If you are not aware of your style, then you will send ambiguous signals to people you know.  There are several instruments that can help you determine your style under various conditions.

This article will highlight some uses and precautions with using common style indicators.  

Precautions with using style indicators

The two most famous style instruments are the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator and the DiSC Profile. There are numerous other style indicators, but those are the best-known examples.

In both cases, the instrument will give you a snapshot of how you react to things. However, there is a big precaution when you use them.  The analysis is self-administered. It indicates what you believe about yourself.  That may or may not square with what other people observe about you.

Style indicators are helpful

I believe that the style indicators are useful in that they provide a starting point for understanding. Knowing how you observe your own actions is helpful. However, the analysis needs to be confirmed in the real world. Before you can say, “I am an ENFJ,” you need to confirm something. Are your actions as viewed by other people consistent with that profile?

Understanding individual differences

Styles are also helpful in decoding the differences between people.  Suppose I am a high S (Steadiness) on the DiSC Scale. If you are a high D (Dominance), that might be useful information. It will help us understand why we react to things differently. It will also provide some insights into why we experience conflict in certain situations.

The feedback from the evaluation has specific instructions that will help you. If you know your own style preference and that of the other person, it can help prevent misunderstandings.

You can manage your style

Remember that you can decide consciously to operate outside your normal style. You may have a natural tendency to keep things calm and smooth. In certain circumstances, it may be effective to act with high emotion. Do not become a slave to the analysis that shows your natural style.  Experiment with different ways of handling circumstances. Keep track of how things work for you. Just because you live in a certain box on the DiSC Profile, you are not forced to remain there.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Reducing Conflict 90 Avoid Using Absolutes

April 23, 2023

You will experience less conflict if you avoid using absolutes when addressing people. Absolutes are terminal words like “never,” “always,” or “none.”  In this article, I will describe the implications when you use absolutes.   I also will suggest some alternative phrases that are less dangerous. There is a choice of how you phrase things.

Avoid using absolutes to maintain credibility

When you use an absolute to describe a situation, it often ends up a challenge to credibility. Let me use an example to show the impact.  Suppose a supervisor is tired of asking an employee to clean up his workstation.  He says to the employee, “Mike, you never leave your workplace clean and tidy.”  The word “never” is an absolute that sets up a kind of loop in the mind of the employee.

After thinking about it for a second, the employee fires back. “Oh yeah? Last Friday I cleaned up my entire area and helped Frank clean up his bench.” The supervisor is proven wrong because of how he worded the challenge.  If he had avoided the absolute, he would not have been caught.  Try using, “Mike, I wish you would take the time to clean up your area more often.”

Absolutes imply a challenge

The use of absolutes to describe a situation focuses energy on the wrong thing.  The person on the receiving end spends more energy proving the other person wrong than correcting the problem. Eliminating the absolute will allow most of the energy to go into a solution. Let’s look at another example.

Be accountable

Your coworker says, “You were supposed to bring snacks for the group, but there are none.”  You open a drawer and pull out an old bag of chips left over from last week. The coworker used an absolute (none), so you had the chance to prove him wrong. In fact, there were “some” snacks, just not enough for the entire group.

Your coworker fell into the trap of using an absolute. A better way to focus attention on the real issue is for the coworker to say this: “I don’t see many snacks for the group here. Did you forget it was your turn to bring them?”

Avoiding absolutes works to maintain trust

When you use absolutes with someone, it lowers trust because you appear to be judging the person. The other person can feel harassed and persecuted. The person may feel the urge to defend himself, which works against a culture of trust.

Why avoiding using absolutes works

All of the examples above show how absolutes can trap you in a direction you don’t want to go. By using more moderate speech, you reduce the potential for a snarky response. This principle applies no matter how critical the situation is.  If the error is about a security issue or a safety protocol, you may prevent a dangerous situation.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Building Higher Trust 121 Avoid Flip Flops

April 20, 2023

Flip-flops are fine for the beach but not helpful in business. You can build higher trust simply by avoiding flip-flops.

Sometimes it is hard to do that because the conditions around a business are changing all the time. What worked yesterday may not play out well today. This article describes how leaders can operate with the necessary flexibility while avoiding a flip-flop reputation.

A classic flip-flop occurs when a leader institutes a new policy and reverses it at a later date. The policy may also be reinstated as well. That is the classic flip-flop that people don’t like.

Never try to sell a change without an explanation for why it is necessary

The common mistake made by many leaders is to assume people understand why a rule needs to change. Before announcing a change, explain why this is a needed reaction to a changing world. Advise leaders to use the words in their explanation. “I want to avoid making a flip-flop so everyone understands why this change is essential. This is not being done on a whim.”

An example of a Flip-Flop

Suppose there is a policy that we do not publish earning figures by product line.  We only give out aggregate figures.  Now, suppose some manager believes it is better to show all the detail, so she changes the reporting pattern without a lot of fanfare. After a couple of months, she reverted to the original pattern after some employees wrote nasty questions on social media. They wanted to know the rationale for changing a long-standing policy on the fly. The manager did a flip-flop, which gives the appearance of hiding something or doing something underhanded.

When people felt they had to go on social media to gripe, that is an indication of low trust, to begin with.  If they had questions about why the manager made the original change, they should have gone directly to her.

People get weary of too many changes

Try to keep the number of procedural changes to the bare minimum.  When considering making a change to a standard procedure, stop and think about how it will be received. Do not assume most people can figure out the driving force for the change.  Be specific and clear, and stress that you want to keep changes to a minimum.

Recognize that some changes will require modification to training programs and onboarding instructions.  Try to keep the original intent of the action intact while issuing a modification to how it is accomplished. Showing sensitivity to how people are reacting to a change will help. 

Summary

Avoid policy changes where possible and explain the rationale for those you cannot avoid. Also, make sure the new procedure is well established in the culture before considering it done. If you have to change the procedure back to the original, make sure people know why you did it.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Leadership Barometer 193 Management Versus Leadership

April 18, 2023

The contrast of management versus leadership is a fascinating area. Peter Drucker once said, “Managers do things right; leaders do the right things.” He packed a lot of horse sense into that compact sentence.

In this article, I will expand on the point. There are several observations from my readings and my own background.  Let’s start by contrasting the mindset of a pure manager and that of a pure leader.

Contrasting management versus leadership

A manager’s mindset is to try to reach perfection. The manager wants to be a stabilizing force. Everything in the organization should work as it was designed.  People report to work on time and are ready to produce.  The process is well-maintained and produces error-free product. People get paid on time. The ideal situation for a manager is that every person and process is cloned to be the same every time. A manager’s focus is on running the process today. The idea is to accomplish the mission of the organization now.

The Leader’s world is a very different place. This individual often acts as a destabilizing force. Focus is on the potential of the organization.  The leader is all about the vision of the organization in the future. A typical thought pattern looks for potential and asks, “What could we become?”

In reality, we focus on both dimensions at different times

The truth is that there are no perfect managers or perfect leaders. Most individuals provide the organization with shaping in both areas.  In my classes, I ask individuals to picture where on the continuum between extremes they are most comfortable.

If your natural tendency is toward leadership and you are stuck grinding out the product every day, you will suffer. Likewise, if you enjoy tweaking a process to make it perfect, you may be unhappy as a leader.

Recognize that any one individual cannot perform exclusively on both dimensions every day. The world requires that a mixture of the characteristics is in play depending on circumstances.

Conclusion

In practice, many successful organizations have both effective managers and strong leaders. Managers ensure that day-to-day operations run smoothly, while leaders set the direction and vision for the organization. By working together, managers and leaders can achieve the right balance of efficiency and effectiveness. Having both philosophies in play ensures that the organization is both productive and adaptable to changing circumstances.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Reducing Conflict 89 Care

April 16, 2023

In my leadership program, I do a segment on reducing conflict where care takes center stage. My program lists a dozen actions that can reduce conflict. The most important one is to show that you care for the other person. 

In this article, I will share why care is such an important concept. I will offer some tips on how to be effective at showing care.

You are not going to have a conflict if there is mutual care between the parties.  There are numerous obvious ways to show care (see below for examples). The real deal goes beyond those things.

Here are some mechanical things to think about to prevent a condition of conflict.

  1.  Listen actively. Show that you care about your coworker by being an active listener. Pay attention to what they say,   ask questions, and show empathy.
  2. Show gratitude. Express your appreciation for the work that your coworker does. This can be as simple as saying thank you or giving them a compliment.
  3. Check-in regularly. Regularly check in with your coworker to see how they are doing. This could be through a quick chat, email or messaging them, or a coffee or lunch break.
  4. Offer help. Offer your assistance to your coworker when they are struggling with a task or project. This could be as simple as offering to proofread a document or help with a presentation.
  5. Celebrate their achievements. Congratulate your coworker on their achievements and celebrate their successes. This could be as simple as giving them a high five or writing a congratulatory note.
  6. Respect their boundaries. Respect your coworker’s boundaries and personal space. Avoid invading their privacy and be mindful of their time.
  7. Show interest in their life. Get to know your coworker beyond work-related topics. Ask about their hobbies, family, and interests.
  8. Give constructive feedback. Provide your coworker with constructive feedback that can help them improve their work. Be respectful and tactful when giving feedback.
  9. Offer to cover for them. Offer to cover for your coworker when they need time off.
  10. Be kind and understanding. Show kindness and understanding to your coworker in all situations. Treat them with respect and empathy, and be a good listener when they need someone to talk to.

That is a very good list of tangible things you can do to show care. I think it misses some profoundly important concepts. Here are a couple of additional things to think about.

Show care with your body language.

Care is not something like a mask you put on to get a particular reaction. You show that you care by thousands of silent cues that indicate what is going on in your heart. Your facial expression shows how much you care.  It also shows in other ways you configure your body in relation to the other person. Avoid clenched fists and keep your hands open.

Be the kind of person you would want for a friend.

In all your interfaces be gracious and kind.  If you are giving specific feedback, keep a sharp eye on the body language of the other person along the way. They will tell you if your coaching is appreciated or hurtful.

Conclusion

Showing you care for another person is the best way to avoid an atmosphere of conflict.  Follow the tips and hints above to create that kind of relationship.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Building Higher Trust 120 Trust Triangle

April 13, 2023

In this article, I will summarize three conditions for trust that I call the Trust Triangle. First I  will review the work of three other authors who are friends and have written on trust. I will share the essence of their models and then add my own to the analysis.

The most prolific author I know on trust is my friend Stephen M. R. Covey.

The Speed of Trust

Stephen presents a trust model of thirteen behaviors that are separated into two categories of “character” and “competence.”  The thirteen behaviors together give a holistic view of trust that is inspiring. He points out the opposite of each behavior and also the counterfeit that seems consistent but is not.

Smart Trust

Stephen’s second book was Smart Trust. In that book he hypotheses that we make trust decisions based on three core competencies. The first is “Analysis,” the second is “Judgment,” and the third is “Action.” He points out that trust is an ongoing process that requires continual attention. 

Trust and Inspire

Stephen’s most recent book (2022) points out that the world has changed. The old style of leadership, known as “command and control,” will no longer work in a post-COVID world. His theory is that it is time for a “Trust and Inspire” form of leadership. His model is based on three stewardships of leadership.  These are “Modeling” (who you are), Inspiring (connect to why), and Trusting (how you lead).

Charlie Green wrote a fascinating book entitled The Trusted Advisor.

Charlie believes leaders need to show a combination of Competence, Credibility, and Character to create trust.  He points out that trust is situational and requires constant effort to maintain. His Trust equation is as follows:  Trust = Credibility +Reliability + Intimacy / Self-Orientation.

Charles Feltman wrote a great book entitled The Thin Book of Trust

In it, Charles provides one of the better definitions of trust that I have ever heard.  “Trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”

Charles’ model for trust focuses on sincerity, reliability, competence, and care. He posits that violations can damage trust. To rebuild trust, individuals must 1) acknowledge the violation, 2) take responsibility, and 3) make amends.

My own model

Trying to keep things simple yet operational, I offer the idea that trust is a triangle.  It consists of three sides that all begin with the letter L. The first side is a “Lack of Fear.” This means that leaders have built a culture of high psychological safety. People are not fearful that their opinions are going to cause them pain.

The second side is “Laughter.”  When we refuse to take offense at other people we can maintain a culture of goodwill and trust. The atmosphere will be light and pleasant.

The third side is “Love.” When we demonstrate that we really care for each other, it allows trust between us to grow.

Conclusion

There are literally hundreds of models on the topic of trust.  I have highlighted the work of four authors in this article. If one of the definitions resonates with you, then feel free to embrace it.  If another model suits your fancy, then create your own.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Leadership Barometer 192 Culture Starts at the Top

April 12, 2023

I have been working with organizations for decades and have observed that culture always starts at the top. There can be numerous factors that go into building a great culture. The one with the greatest impact is sitting in the corner office.

Here is a real story about culture

I was sitting in the office of a CEO.  He was telling me about the problems in his organization.  The manufacturing people could not get along with the sales group. The maintenance people were always at war with the designers. The engineers thought the quality people were nuts.  The entire organization was in constant conflict due to these problems.  He wanted to know if I could come in and “fix” the culture to be one of higher trust.

I looked at him and said, “have you considered your part in creating these problems?” He said, “Oh no, there is nothing wrong with the culture of the senior team. It is the groups below that need to be fixed.”  After a few seconds of consideration, I simply stated, “then I don’t think I can help you.”  I got up and left his office and the building. 

Poor culture is a common disease

I noticed that many leaders have a tendency to think this way.  They see all the problems below them in the organization. They do not realize that it is their policies and actions that are creating most of the friction. Here is a link to a brief video I made. The title, The Role of Leaders in Creating Trust illustrates my point.

The culture cure is simple but elusive

Work to convince the senior leader that he or she is at least part of the problem.  If the culture is not what the senior person wants, the cure is staring you in the face.  You just need to convince him or her to try a different style and see if things improve.

To soften the blow, do not have the mindset that you must totally fix the senior person to be successful.  Instead, focus on helping the entire organization function better.

Lower the fear

The usual cause of organizational problems has a root in lack of psychological safety.  Educate the leader on what the words mean and how by changing his or her behavior the culture can be changed rather quickly. 

Conclusion

My work will never end. There are so many leaders who cannot see the link between their behaviors and their problems.  By teaching the leader how to change his or her behaviors, you can have a direct impact on the culture.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Reducing Conflict 88 Follow Up

April 9, 2023

When there is an episode of conflict, it is smart to follow up on the resolution. This article describes why the follow-up is helpful and offers some tips on how to do it well.

I will discuss the role of follow-up in both kinds of conflict. The first kind is where there is a resolution and the second kind is where there is ongoing conflict.

There is no rule book on how to do this closure process. Each case needs to be considered a separate analysis.

Most conflict situations have a resolution, so follow-up helps

In this case, the parties have been able to settle their differences. They return to a more normal or balanced relationship. It is a good idea to document the agreements so there are no lingering misunderstandings.  A good practice to do this involves both parties stating their understanding of the resolution.

If there is still a difference of opinion, that fact will become evident quickly.  Having the lingering issue clarified by both parties gives an opportunity for some creative thinking. Work to create a new compromise and document that one.  Keep working on the issue until both parties agree on the solution.

Follow up when the conflict is ongoing

In this situation, the parties cannot reach a settlement. Having each side state their case allows for full disclosure of the issues.  It also provides the opportunity to do a reverse role play.  Sometimes taking the opposite side of an argument provides new insights. That process could lead to enough progress to state a compromise solution.

Having all the issues out on the table also allows the parties to agree to disagree.  The individuals do not need to be enemies forever. They can coexist and work well together even though they do not agree on every point.   

Be alert for backsliding

Sometimes parties will agree to a compromise position just to reduce the rancor or satisfy management. In that case, watch for a retrenching of the conflict rising up in the future.  You had some indication of progress, but it was short lived.

There were good intentions, but the follow-up was missing.

Changing conditions can rekindle the conflict

If people have had conflict in the past, they are susceptible to more in the future as conditions change. Even though the specific trigger is different, the old wounds are easily reopened. Be especially observant after a conflict is resolved that the compromise has become habitual.

Conclusion

Conflict is a natural part of the human condition.  It is always a good idea to follow up after the conflict is over to ensure the cure is sustained.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive w

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Building Higher Trust 119 Sailing Downwind

April 6, 2023

I have written about the work of several other authors in this series on trust. It might be appropriate to summarize my own body of knowledge on the topic. In 2009 I published my third book entitled, Leading With Trust is like Sailing Downwind.

Sailing Downwind: Central Theme of the book

Leaders who know how to build a culture of high trust have a huge advantage. It is like steering a boat in the direction the wind is already blowing. Leaders who cannot maintain high trust sail into the wind.  In that configuration, you make less progress while “tacking” and the work is more difficult.

My observation comes after years of contrasting leaders who know how to maintain trust with those who don’t. The former are having a blast while the latter are miserable most of the time.

The most important skill for sailing downwind

To build a culture of high trust, ensure people feel psychological safety.  They know that they can say what they believe without any fear of retribution. Leaders who can accomplish this feeling have the most direct route to trust.

Several other observations from the book

  1. Trust is the foundation of effective leadership. Leaders who build and maintain trust are more likely to achieve success in their roles. Trust is essential for building strong relationships, creating a positive work culture, and fostering innovation and collaboration.
  2. Trust is earned through consistent behavior. You are not given trust; it is earned through consistent behavior over time. Leaders must be transparent, ethical, and authentic in their actions and decisions.
  3. Trust is a two-way street. It is bilateral. Leaders must trust their employees as well. When they demonstrate trust in their employees, it will inspire greater loyalty and commitment.  In turn, employees will be more likely to reciprocate with increased productivity and engagement.
  4. Communication is key to building trust. Leaders must communicate clearly, honestly, and frequently to establish open and honest relationships with their employees.
  5. Trust can be damaged quickly. While trust takes time to build, it can be damaged quickly by even small missteps or lapses in judgment. Leaders must be vigilant in their actions and decisions to maintain trust and avoid eroding it.
  6. Trust is essential for navigating change. It is especially critical during times of change, uncertainty, and crisis. Leaders who have established trust with their employees will be better equipped to navigate difficult situations. They can maintain morale and productivity during challenging times.

Conclusion

If you know how to build, maintain, and repair trust, you are sailing downwind most of the time. Leadership for you will be a blast rather than a chore.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Leadership Barometer 191 Too Much Pressure

April 4, 2023

We all face times in our lives when we are under too much pressure. There are various ways we deal with this situation. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much pressure we are enduring. This article shares a method I have used for years to identify when I am under too much pressure.

What is too much pressure?

The definition of how much pressure is too much varies with each of us. Recognize that the pressure we feel is the sum of various small pressures acting on us at once. At some point, one very minor addition to the load can cause us to break down.

A personal example

In my late career, I had a situation where things got out of hand.  I was dealing with some family health problems in another city. The workload at my job was at a peak situation calling for maximum attention. My car needed repair, but I had no time to get it fixed. I was way behind on my yard work. I had just found out that I needed to travel across the country for several days.

None of these issues by themselves would cause a serious problem. The sum of them did.  I was sitting at the breakfast table one morning at 5 am eating some cereal.  I stood up and immediately blacked out and fell to the floor. I had no physical warning, but there I was on the floor.

I needed a “Check Engine” light for my stress

Later that day I was near a self-service blood pressure station and decided to have a look.  WOW! As expected, my pressure was high, but I nearly fainted again at the magnitude of the pressure.  I just had not seen the pressure building up over time until my body forced me to shut down. Fortune prevented me from having a heart attack or stroke that morning.

Create an ongoing signal to monitor your pressure

For me, it was easy to purchase a home blood pressure monitor and use it every morning. I get a reading each day, so I know if things are building up to the breaking point.  Actually, I take my pressure ten times every morning while watching the news.  After discarding the highest value and the lowest value I average the other eight points. That average becomes the point on a graph for me that day.

I have been using that system for the past twenty years, and it has served me well. That chart becomes the signal when something is wrong before I even feel it.  Often the problem has to do with diet.  For example, if I have a meal that is particularly high in salt, I can see that on my chart.

Summary: Create your own ‘Check Engine” light

Find some way to monitor your stress level that fits into your lifestyle.  For example, your spouse might serve to tell you when things are reaching the control limit.   Having that signal can prevent you from accepting too much pressure at any point in time.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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