Reducing Conflict 100 The Cost of Conflict

July 10, 2023

Intergroup conflict is a fact of life wherever there are people involved.  The phenomenon can be observed from small groups of children in kindergarten to worldwide nuclear superpowers. We see ample evidence every day in the government.  In this article, I will focus on groups in a professional work setting.

We know there are costs to the organization of parochial groups bickering. We may look past some of the symptoms and damage that is happening. It may be a lot more costly than we recognize. Intergroup conflict can have various costs, both tangible and intangible.

Here are some of the common costs associated with intergroup conflict:

  1. Economic Costs. Intergroup friction can lead to significant economic losses. It can disrupt business activities, decrease productivity, and damage infrastructure. Disruptions in supply chains, reduced consumer confidence, and increased costs of doing business are all potential economic consequences.
  2. Financial Losses. Conflict often results in financial losses due to increased expenditures on security measures, legal fees, and dispute resolution processes. Additionally, intergroup confrontation can discourage investors or volunteers.
  3. Human Casualties. In severe cases, intergroup disputes can result in physical injuries or even loss of life. When things spiral out of control, the situation becomes increasingly dangerous.
  4. Emotional Impact. Conflict can have profound psychological and emotional effects on individuals. Fear, stress, anxiety, and trauma are common outcomes of intergroup struggles.
  5. Social Fragmentation. Intergroup conflict can lead to social fragmentation and erode social cohesion. It can exacerbate existing tensions and contribute to the breakdown of trust and cooperation between different groups.
  6. Opportunity Costs. Intergroup conflicts divert resources, attention, and energy away from productive activities. These opportunity costs can slow progress and hinder the overall development of the organization.
  7. Sabotage. Conflict can lead to the destruction of tangible assets through sabotage.

Conclusion

It is important to note that the costs of intergroup discord will vary depending on the intensity. The damages will be different based on the particular situation. The important point is to be alert to the scope of the damage being done by intergroup conflict.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 99 Too Much Conflict

July 4, 2023

There are many sources of conflict within any organization. I will describe the general situation in an organization with low discord. Then, I will share give some specific causes of why conflict flares up in weak cultures.

Some organizations experience a lot of friction and others do not.  That observation provides a clue to how to control it.

Why does conflict in organizations occur?

The most basic cause of organizational conflict is weak leadership. Where we see excellent leadership at work there is very little discord.  That generalization is because excellent leaders create the kind of culture that does not support disputes. Sure, there are going to be differences of opinion, but a strong culture of trust beats back systemic struggles.

A culture of trust means that people respect others and support them where possible. Differences do occur, but they are usually resolved quickly due to good communication.

Friction between groups is possible, but it does not become a long-term issue. The groups discuss their issues and come up with compromises. Since respect and trust are the underlying cultures, struggles are short-lived.

What are the root causes of fights that persist in weak cultures?

  1. Communication breakdown. Miscommunication or lack of effective communication can lead to disputes. Many times people do not understand the other side.
  2. Differences in goals and objectives. When individuals or departments within an organization have conflicting goals or objectives, it can result in discord. Each party may prioritize their own objectives, leading to disagreements and clashes.
  3. Limited resources. Controversy can arise when there are limited resources, such as budget, staff, time, or equipment. Competing for scarce resources can cause tensions between individuals or departments within an organization.
  4. Power struggles. Organizations often have hierarchies and power structures. Controversy can arise when there are struggles for power, influence, or control. Power imbalances, perceived favoritism, or clashes between different departments or individuals can lead to discord.
  5. Differences in values and beliefs. Diverse organizations bring together individuals with different backgrounds, values, and beliefs. When these differences clash, problems can arise. Disagreements on how things should be done, differing ethical perspectives, or cultural clashes can contribute to friction.
  6. Organizational change. Major changes within an organization, such as restructuring, mergers, or new leadership, can create conflict. People may resist change or have different ideas about the direction the organization should take.
  7. Role ambiguity. When roles and responsibilities within an organization are unclear or overlapping, controversy can arise. Uncertainty about who is responsible for what can result in misunderstandings, finger-pointing, and discord among team members.
  8. Interpersonal dynamics. Differences in personalities, work styles, or communication styles among employees can lead to conflicts. Conflicting personalities or personal issues that spill into the workplace can disrupt teamwork and create tension.

Summary

The best way to avoid confrontation in an organization is to have a culture of high trust and respect. Leaders create an atmosphere in which trust will grow.  Organizations must recognize and address the sources of conflict proactively to foster a healthy and productive work environment.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 98 Verify

June 25, 2023

Any time you are in conflict with another person, it is vital to verify understanding. You may have misunderstood the other person’s thinking. You may have miscommunicated your own point of view. Each of you may have differing perspectives on what is going on.  There are several ways to verify the different points of view. 

In this article, I will share some common ways to verify understanding. I will also give several reasons why verification helps reduce conflict.

Have each party summarize key points to verify

Each party can summarize the key logic behind why they believe as they do.  This summary is a way to check that both parties heard the other person accurately. The key points should be listed in brief statements and not couched in long rationalizations. The role of this step is to ensure the key points of contention are clearly understood in both directions.

Reverse roles

It sometimes helps if both people reverse roles. That is, you attempt to argue for the points made by the other person and visa-versa. One caveat with this technique is that both parties must play the game fairly.  If I am articulating your side of an issue, I must fully engage in your logic. That also helps to verify understanding.

Solicit the help of a neutral third party

Sometimes having a mediator listen to both sides and describe the issue can help clear the air. You need to verify the third party is truly neutral or the issue starts out as two against one.

Some reasons to verify your understanding

  1. Accuracy. Verifying your understanding allows you to ensure that you have an accurate picture of the situation. It helps ensure that you have correctly interpreted the information. You minimize the problem of false assumptions.
  2. Clarity. Conflict can be caused by ambiguity or lack of clarity. This process helps you gain a clear picture of the other person’s perspective, intentions, or concerns. It also gives them an opportunity to clarify their position, leading to better communication.
  3. Empathy. Verifying your understanding demonstrates empathy and a willingness to listen to the other person’s point of view. It shows that you value their perspective and are open to considering their thoughts and feelings. This empathetic approach can help de-escalate tensions and foster a more constructive dialogue.
  4. Problem-Solving. Verifying your understanding is crucial for effective problem-solving during conflicts. It allows you to identify the root causes of the conflict and find common ground or shared objectives. You can work together to find mutually beneficial solutions and move towards resolution.
  5. Building Trust. Trust is often eroded during conflicts. When you verify, you demonstrate a genuine commitment to resolving the conflict and rebuilding trust. It shows that you are invested in open and honest communication. This verification can lay the foundation for improved relationships in the future.

Summary

Verifying your understanding plays a vital role in conflict resolution. It helps ensure accuracy, clarity, empathy, problem-solving, and the restoration of trust. By taking the time to clarify and confirm your understanding, you increase the likelihood of finding common ground. You are more likely to reach a resolution that satisfies all parties involved.

 

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 97 Cliques

June 18, 2023

Within any organization, the existence of cliques can lead to significant conflict.  In this article, I will discuss why this occurs and offer some advice for control.

Whenever there are “family” groups within an organization, the tendency toward forming cliques is present. Groups tend to put up walls of contact and access that separate the groups. I will describe several of the symptoms and causes.

Cliques can lead to conflict for various reasons. Here are several factors that contribute to conflict within and between groups:

Exclusion.  Cliques often form by excluding certain individuals or groups. The isolation creates feelings of rejection. This exclusion can lead to conflict between the members and those who feel left out.

Power struggles. Within a clique, power dynamics may emerge, with some members trying to control others.

Competition for resources. Different groups compete for limited resources, such as funding, management attention, or access to space. This competition can escalate into conflicts. Members strive to secure their positions within the clique and maintain their share of resources.

Reinforcement of stereotypes. Cliques often reinforce stereotypes and create divisions among different social groups. This process can lead to conflict between cliques that perceive each other negatively based on biases.

Groupthink. Cliques tend to encourage conformity and discourage independent thinking. Members conform to group norms and opinions without critical evaluation. Conflicts can arise when dissenting views or ideas are challenged or suppressed.

Bullying and aggression. In some cases, cliques may engage in bullying or aggressive behavior towards individuals or other groups.

In-group favoritism. These groups often exhibit strong in-group favoritism, where members prioritize the interests of their clique. This favoritism can create conflicts when the interests of the clique clash with those outside of it.

Perceived threats. Cliques may perceive external individuals or groups as threats to their status or identity. This perception can escalate conflicts as the groups defend their positions.

Lack of empathy. Groups may foster an “us versus them” mentality. You can observe a lack of empathy for those outside of the group. This condition hinders open communication and cooperation.

Conclusion

It is important to note that while cliques are often a source of conflict, not all of them are bad. Healthy and inclusive cliques can exist. They promote positive relationships and shared interests without causing harm or division. Just be alert to any negative signs cropping up.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 96 Document Behaviors

June 11, 2023

One simple way to reduce conflicts is to have your group document expected behaviors in advance. I have used this technique in the past, and it has saved a lot of grief over the years.

The trick is to get your team to agree upon a set of rules that they intend to follow. Write down the rules and agree upon some form of consequence for people who violate them. The rules act as a preventive. Everyone in the group has signed up for the consequence if they violate them.

Example of an actual list of team behaviors

The following list of behaviors was taken from a group I supervised several years ago. 

  • When in conflict we will try to see from the other person’s perspective.
  • If we disagree, we will do it without being disagreeable.
  • We will not leave meetings with “silent no’s.”
  • Everyone will act like an adult.
  • The team will build an environment of respect and trust.
  • Commitments are always honored.
  • Individuals stay positive, even in difficult times.
  • Members seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
  • We help and support one another.

Why this list helps reduce conflict

Daily operations are sometimes intense and confusing. It is easy to get flustered and forget to live by the rules. Having them written down and agreed to prevents problems from surfacing.  People know they will be reminded if they overlook one of the rules.  If a pattern arises where the rules are broken multiple times, then disciplinary actions are required. 

Accountability is vital

If you have established rules for deportment, then you must enforce them or they will lose their power. If people recognize that you often excuse lapses from the standard, they will test the limits often. It becomes a game of “Gotcha” where leaders sometimes enforce the rules, but not always.

Recognize good behavior

It is also important that you reinforce people when they model the rules. It is not enough to hold a hammer over people’s heads with a negative consequence.  Instead, catch people in the act of modeling the documented behaviors and thank them.  That reinforcement is vital because other people will be reminded of the agreements often.

Conclusion

Having a set of documented behaviors can reduce the conflict between people daily.  Just remember to hold people accountable if they violate a rule and reinforce them when they follow the rules.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 95 Conflict as a Game

June 4, 2023

Most people dislike conflict, but some people see conflict as a game. This article will describe several situations why conflict can be a game.  Some of these are legitimate, and some of them are simply ways to cause havoc.

Some people do it to stir things up, and others see it as a way to get attention.

Why would someone consider conflict as a game?

There are people who engage in conflict for personal gain or for entertainment. Individuals may use conflict to exert power, control, or dominance over others. These people might derive satisfaction from manipulating or exploiting others. They enjoy the competitive nature of conflict or seek personal advantages at the expense of others.

Unfortunately, these individuals destroy trust within an organization.  Integrity and transparency often are lost when people feel manipulated. In high-trust groups, people do not play games with each other.

Gamers are a blight on society because they cause damage wherever they go. They need to be confronted and taught how to be more caring of others. Their exploits are rooted in selfishness, and they cause severe damage in organizations.

Other more benign conditions for conflict

In certain situations, conflict may be approached strategically, resembling a game-like scenario. It often appears in military operations or strategic negotiations. Such situations involve careful planning, decision-making, and execution, often with specific objectives and rules. The benefit of these confrontations is the learning that goes on for the people involved.

Use of conflict in training

I often put people in conflict situations in my leadership training so they can do a role play of how they would react. These scenarios are particularly challenging, and the debrief is a way to teach proper reactions.

For example, in one role-play exercise, I pit a disgruntled employee against her manager. The employee has just been passed over for a promotion in favor of another woman. She was obviously the best candidate but was not selected because the manager’s boss had a crush on the other woman. The manager was ordered to not divulge the reason for the selection when the employee complained.

In this scenario, it was the manager who was in the hot seat. He had advocated for the employee as the best candidate but was voted down by his superior. Since he was told not to divulge the information, he had no reasonable defense when the employee complained. The lack of trust between the manager and his superior was the root cause of the problem.

Learning opportunity

Putting people in “no win” conflict situations for role play really helps them grow. They see themselves trying to operate in an unfair world and learn some valuable lessons. It is better to confront these situations in the classroom where coaching is available than in the real world.

The ramifications of conflict can be very severe.

Considering conflict as a game or pursuing it solely for personal gratification can have severe consequences.  It will harm others and perpetuate violence or injustice. Conflict should ideally be addressed through peaceful means, such as negotiation. Dialogue and mediation can lead to resolutions that are fair and just for all parties involved.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 94 Sources of Conflict

May 21, 2023

There are an infinite number of sources of conflict at work. In my leadership classes, I like to highlight the following ten sources.

All ten of these causes are well known, so there is little need to describe them in detail. In some cases, I have suggested a helpful antidote

Communication breakdowns

There can be misunderstandings and miscommunication between coworkers or managers and employees. Lack of adequate communication is often cited as the number one source of frustration for employees. Communicate important messages in multiple ways.

Personality clashes

Different personalities, work styles, and preferences can cause tension and conflict among coworkers. People seem to be preoccupied with “fixing” other people to think like they do. We all wear an “I AM RIGHT” button at times.

Power struggles

Conflicts can arise when individuals or groups compete for power, influence, or resources in the workplace. There is an agenda in most communications between people, and it is often about power.

Workload and responsibilities

Conflicts can arise when one person feels that they are being unfairly burdened with too much work. Since resources are usually spread thin, it is common to have many people feeling abused. “Social loafing” is the practice of goofing off, so others will do more than their share of the work.

Different goals and priorities

Conflicts can arise when different individuals or departments have conflicting goals or priorities. The antidote to this common problem is to ensure the groups are properly aligned.

Organizational changes

Changes in leadership, organizational restructuring, or other major changes in the workplace can create uncertainty and lead to conflicts. Succession issues often surface with extreme conflict between people.

Discrimination and harassment

Conflicts can arise when employees feel that they are being discriminated against or harassed in the workplace. This situation can create a toxic work environment.

Performance issues

Conflicts can arise when one person’s work performance is not meeting expectations. There may be disagreements about what constitutes good performance. Consistent standards for performance can help a lot in this situation.

Resource allocation

Conflicts can arise when there are limited resources, such as budget or staff. Individuals or departments compete for those resources. If you are the supervisor of a group of 12 engineers with only one administrative assistant, watch out.

Personal issues

Personal issues outside of work, such as health problems or family issues, can spill over into the workplace.

Conclusion

We are all familiar with these ten sources of conflict.  We live with them every day. There are hundreds more, but these ten are the most common. Recognize that all of these issues are part of the human condition. Build a culture of affection and trust, and you will see the severity of these problems diminish significantly.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 93 Address Problems Early

May 14, 2023

There are a number of ways to reduce conflict, and an important one is to address problems early.

This article describes how to spot problems early and deal with them before they blow up.

Problems often occur between people and groups, but they also show up in any of the processes we use.  

Some people have a talent for detecting problems when they first show up on the horizon. They have a significant advantage if they deal with the issues promptly and get a resolution. 

Keep an eye out for things that are not working correctly

Monitoring processes, systems, and activities can help identify potential problems before they become more serious. Be alert for small changes that could be forecasts of bigger issues to come. If something has shifted, find out why.

Key performance indicators can detect problems in the early stages

Establishing key performance indicators (KPIs) can help track progress and identify potential problems early on. By setting measurable goals and tracking progress, you can identify areas that need improvement before they grow. One precaution is to make sure your indicators are really measuring the phenomenon you are trying to control.

Feedback and ideas can spot future problems

Encouraging feedback and ideas from customers, employees, or other stakeholders can help identify potential problems early on. This practice can help address issues before they escalate and improve the overall quality of your products or services. Sometimes ideas come in the form of complaints. Remain open to all forms of feedback and do not punish people who complain. Thank them for the tip.

Risk assessment

Conducting risk assessments can help identify potential problems and their likelihood of occurring. By identifying potential risks, you can take steps to mitigate them and prevent them from becoming bigger problems. Reinforce people who point out risks as potential problems.

Conclusions

Spotting problems early requires a proactive approach that involves regularly measuring and analyzing activities to identify potential issues. By identifying and addressing issues early, you can prevent them from becoming bigger problems with more significant impacts.

The other piece of advice is to not let problems grow before your eyes. Make sure to deal with the root cause of problems and don’t just try to reduce the symptoms. Sometimes it takes a bit of digging to get to the root cause.  One technique that is helpful is to ask “why” five times.

 

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 92 Apologize

May 7, 2023

One underused technique for dealing with conflict is to apologize. When you apologize it sends many different signals, as I will explain here.  Of course, it is not ALWAYS good to apologize. We will explore the implications of when to use this method as well as when to avoid it.

There are several obvious reasons why an apology might be appropriate. Let’s deal with these ideas first.

Apologize when you have made a mistake

If the conflict stems from something you did that was wrong, clearly you need to apologize.  It may take some analysis and dialog to determine if you actually caused the conflict, so you need to keep an open mind.

It is often difficult to see or appreciate when you have made a blunder. Stay humble and search diligently for the truth. Listen well to what the other party is telling you, and do not reject these ideas out of hand. You might get a third perspective before deciding what the true issue is and how to address it.

Apologize when your words or actions have hurt someone

It is pretty obvious that where there is conflict there is going to be some damage.  Look for body language signals that indicate someone is hurt. Listen to what they say and also how they say it for information.

If you determine that you did hurt someone, even if it was unintentional, you should apologize to that person. Acknowledge the impact of your words or actions and express your regret.

Apologize when you have contributed to the ongoing conflict

It is difficult sometimes to see how your actions or words have contributed to a conflict. You need to search your soul and ask if you might have prevented the conflict from occurring. If you had acted differently, could the problem have been avoided?

In this instance, getting a third opinion about the root cause of the conflict can be particularly helpful. You need to take responsibility for your contribution to the problem. Doing this will soften up the stance of the other party and they may admit partial fault as well.  If you can establish mutual culpability, then you are well on your way to a resolution. Showing empathy and care for the other person will be helpful in closing the gap in understanding.

Seek out a different path to resolution

When individuals or groups are in conflict, they normally try to establish who is right and who is wrong. That attitude polarizes all conversations and thwarts any attempt to make a real resolution. One trick here is to state clearly areas where you already agree. Start with a list of things you see the same way. Build on that list, and it will reduce the times when you are polarized.

Offer concessions or other positive steps where you can. The more you can soften your own stance, the more cooperative the other party will become.

Show value in the relationship

Use kindness and soothing language as you state your desire for a peaceful resolution to conflict. If the relationship is important to you, it is worth apologizing even if you do not feel fully responsible.

You can rebuild the relationship and move past the conflict if you use the technique of apologizing wisely.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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Reducing Conflict 91 Use Humor

April 30, 2023

Using humor can be an effective way to reduce conflict in several ways.  First, it is imperative to remember that there is a time and place for humor. If it is done poorly or in bad taste it can do a lot of additional damage. 

You must use judgment for how and when to use humor. Avoid humor that is at the expense of another person or group. Also, avoid humor that is in poor taste.

Keeping precautions in mind, let’s discuss some of the ways humor can help alleviate the conflict between people and groups.

Humor diffuses tension

Using humor can help diffuse tension and lighten the mood. This aspect can be especially helpful in emotionally charged situations. Humor can take some of the intensity out of the dialog. The result will help people see things from a more relaxed and less adversarial perspective.

It promotes empathy if done well

Humor can help make the other person feel heard and understood. By using humor in a non-threatening way, it demonstrates listening and trying to connect on a personal level. When using reflective listening, often the humor can be packaged in the brief reflections.

Encourages perspective taking

Humor can encourage people to take perspective by helping them see things from a different angle. Introducing humor can open up possibilities for how the situation can be resolved.  It encourages creative thinking in problem-solving.

Creates Common Ground

Humor creates a shared experience between people. It can help create a sense of common ground. Finding something that everyone can laugh about helps build rapport. It can enable a greater sense of teamwork.

Humor reduces defensiveness

It can put people at ease and make it easier for people to actually hear each other. By injecting some zest into the conversation, it lightens the load on everyone.

Remember the caveats

Inappropriate or hurtful humor can do more harm than good.  You need to understand the situation and the people involved to use humor to your advantage.  Do not assume all people have the same sensitivities. Stay away from sensitive areas or polarizing concepts. Be alert for body language signals to ensure you are not offending anyone with your humor.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust.  He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind.  Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. 

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