December 5, 2023
For a leader, the first impressions are most critical. Let’s say you were just transferred to a new unit. What happens in the first few hours will determine your success for the next several months. First impressions stay with people until supplanted by ideas from events that play out over time.
Malcolm Gladwell, in his book, Blink, demonstrated how human beings can size up another person in an instant. The level of trust that will prevail during the entire first year is usually set during the first week. It is crucial to get off on the right foot with people.
Unfortunately, many leaders come into a new assignment with the wrong attitude. The impressions they make mean a rocky start. Here are seven things that can help you get off on the right foot in any new position.
1. Learn about the culture
Don’t start making changes before you assess the situation calmly. It is a mistake to come into a new job with the attitude that everything is messed up. Seek to understand the strengths and good performance that already exists. The best advice is to keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut in terms of reactions. Seek to learn, appreciate, and reinforce for the first week or so.
2. Establish rapport one on one
Meet with each employee in the new unit privately to chat about his or her role. Get to know the individual as a person. Be sure to put the person at ease with your demeanor, and indicate you have no hidden agenda. You will begin to form some trust between you and the person.
Asking questions about the employee’s family and hobbies demonstrates that you care. Sharing some of your own stories also tends to form a basis for trust. Many new supervisors like to ask what the employee would like him or her to do or not do. This simple question often brings out issues that have been lurking in the culture before the new leader arrived.
3. Build trust as early as possible
When meeting a new person, the basis for trust is in the answer to five basic questions. I call these things “The five C’s of trust.” As a leader:
1. Are you Competent?
2. Do you have good Character and Values?
3. Are you Consistent?
4. Be Cordial
5. Show you Care about the other person.
When you chat with new employees, keep these five things in mind. Work to answer all five of them as positively and quickly as you can.
4. Avoid pushing ideas from your former job
It is a good idea to refrain from bringing up the excellent policies in your prior position. Many new leaders make the mistake of saying, “In my last job we used to do this or that.” It undermines the will of the people in the new unit. Individuals do not want to hear what went on in the boss’ prior position a dozen times a day. It wears thin very quickly.
There is an antidote to this common problem. Early on, refer to the prior job only one time in public. Once you have played that chit, refrain from other references for at least two months. Appreciate the good things in the new area before giving a lot of suggestions.
5. Observe the informal organization and cliques
The culture of an organization is heavily influenced by the chemistry between individuals. You need to be alert to the “informal power structure.” It is operating in tandem with the formal organization.
You must know who the informal leaders are and begin a process to gain their trust. The sub-culture is extremely powerful, and it is often negative. Work slowly and carefully before taking any action with a clique of individuals. Ultimately, you can make great strides working with the informal leaders. You must first develop some credibility and trust.
6. Practice management by wandering around extensively until you are a known quantity
Many new leaders make the mistake of sequestering themselves in strategic meetings early on. That habit labels them as suspect and less transparent. Be open and out there for people to interface with daily. Extra time devoted to this activity, even if it means extra working hours, pays huge dividends.
7. Check your body language
Let people know you are truly happy to be there. Smile! Make sure all your body language reflects that of an appreciative and interested leader. Be sincere about getting to know the ropes before making important decisions.
Conclusion
Do these seven things during your first weeks of a new assignment. You will be on your way to a great tenure as a leader of the group. It is the first blink of an impression that makes the most difference to your future.
Bob Whipple is CEO of Leadergrow, Inc. an organization dedicated to growing leaders. He can be reached at bwhipple@leadergrow.com . Website http://www.leadergrow.com BLOG http://www.thetrustambassador.com He is author of the following books: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.
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Posted by trustambassador
October 20, 2020
For the final few articles in this series on body language, I am highlighting some of the excellent content in a program entitled “Advanced Body Language” by Bill Acheson of the University of Pittsburgh.
In this article, I will summarize his Thinking on how we pick up twelve layers of information when we interface with another person. Most of the time the signals are processed by us unconsciously, but that does not mean they don’t matter to us.
The body language is most important when we are meeting someone for the first time. According to Bill, what we can observe in the other person is ten times more important than what we say.
The 12 layers are the management of:
1. Time
2. Space
3. Appearance
4. Posture
5. Gesture
6. Voice
7. Eye Contact
8. Facial Expression
9. Breathing
10. Touch
11. Smell
12. Congruence
Actually, in his recording he left off the 12th item, so I added the concept of congruence, because when one part of body language is out of step with the others, it sends a warning signal that something is wrong here, even if we cannot put our finger on it consciously.
When we see conflicting signals, the caution flag goes up in our mind, and we have a much more difficult time establishing a relationship of trust. That caution flag, even if it is subconscious means it will take substantially longer to trust the other person than if all signals were consistent.
According to Malcolm Gladwell in the book “Blink,” human beings have a remarkable ability to size each other up in a heartbeat. He estimates that we form a first impression of another person within the first three seconds. He calls the phenomenon “thin slices” after the analogy that if you slice something, like a cucumber, thin enough, you can actually see through it.
Near the start of his program, Bill shares some data he took when working with a group of 600 business woman. His question was, “In a business setting, how do you know when a man cheats on his wife?” The top 7 responses were all body language.
In the video Bill shares the top two responses. The first was if a man wears too much cologne or aftershave. The second giveaway, mentioned by 70% of the women, is if the man is wearing a pinky ring. What male would have guessed those two responses?
Another fascinating statistic has to do with trust. The research shows that 97% of the women he polled said they do not trust a man who wears more jewelry than they do. I suppose that one seems pretty obvious.
In his program, he makes several general observations comparing men and women. Bill is always careful to point out that these observations do not hold in every case, but there is enough of a trend to make them a valuable tool.
For example, he has measured that of out of all the emotions, there is only one emotion that men project with far greater accuracy than women. That emotion is guilt. He suggests that if women experience guilt, they usually do it to themselves.
I hope you have enjoyed these few articles summarizing the entertaining and sometimes startling research of Bill Acheson. I hope that you are interested enough to pick up a copy of his program. You will find it fun, entertaining, and insightful.
This is a part in a series of articles on “Body Language” by Bob Whipple “The Trust Ambassador.”
1 Comment | Candor creates trust, Communications, Enabling Actions, HR, leadership, Table stakes, Teamwork, Transparency, Trust, Trust and breach of trust, Trust and respect | Tagged: aftershave, appearance, blink, body language, breathing, conflicting signals, congruence, eye contact, Facial expression, first impression, gesture, guilt, jewelry, layers, Malcolm Gladwell, pinky ring, posture, smell, space, thin slices, time, touch, valuable tool, voice | Permalink
Posted by trustambassador
July 16, 2020
I am having to modify my leadership training material as a result of COVID-19. I do a section on the impact of Body Language on trust between people.
Historically, I have discussed the handshake at length, because how you do it impacts the first impression people have about you, which has a huge impact on the trust you can achieve with the other person.
We may get back to shaking hands post COVID-19, but it will likely be quite a while before people are comfortable doing it. I believe we will abstain until there is a proven vaccine.
Every culture has some form of touch ritual for people when they first meet. I suspect they will all be impacted by the pandemic we have experienced in 2020. In western cultures, and several others, the handshake is the preferred method of greeting a person we are just meeting. What are the options now, and how will they impact the ability to bond with the other person?
Fist bumps
The fist bump is assumed to be far less contaminating than a full handshake for two reasons. First the contact area is much less, and second the duration of the contact is far less. Still, if I am going to be uncomfortable with a full hand shake, I am also going to be a bit leery of a fist bump for quite some time.
Elbow bumps
Having the elbows touch is suggested as an alternative, but it is a really poor one because it is difficult to maintain eye contact when doing it, and the intimacy is destroyed by the awkward position required to do it. When watching two people try to do an elbow bump, I usually see it followed by an awkward kind of laugh as if the whole thing is some kind of joke. This could become less of an issue in the future, but I really doubt it.
Thumbs up
Here you can maintain a good distance from the other person. It is a positive and friendly gesture that sends a good signal. There is no touching at all, so the possibility of contamination is greatly reduced. Unfortunately most of the intimacy of the handshake is lost with a thumbs up.
Wave
A cheerful wave may be as good as a thumbs up gesture. Here you can combine a facial expression of gratitude for being able to meet the other person. That is the most important ingredient that made the handshake so valuable in the past.
We have to modify our habitual touch ritual that we learned as children and have been using all our life up to this point.
That’s too bad, because the handshake was a powerful way to show your eagerness to meet the other person. In my programs, I stress that it is possible to plant a seed of trust in the first 10 seconds, and a large part of doing that was a proper handshake.
The substitute greeting gestures are never going to replace the value of a handshake as a way to have two people bond when first meeting. That is an unfortunate reality, which means we will need to work extra hard to demonstrate our emotions without touching in the future, at least for a while.
Pay attention to how you greet new acquaintances in the future and select a method that you feel conveys the right spirit and that you can apply consistently.
We may return to the handshake someday in the future based on some kind of immunization program, but I believe the scars left by this huge disruption of COVID-19 will have a long memory in the minds of most people.
This is a part in a series of articles on “Body Language” by Bob Whipple “The Trust Ambassador.”
Leave a Comment » | Candor creates trust, Communications, Enabling Actions, HR, leadership, Transparency, Trust, Trust and respect | Tagged: abstain, CIVID-19, elbow bump, first impression, Fist Bump, handshake, immunization, pandemic, seed, thumbs up, touch, Trust, vaccine, wave | Permalink
Posted by trustambassador