We all need to learn to live and let live. One of the more frequent sources of conflict at home or at work is the tendency for one person to try to “fix” another person. We look at the habits of other people, and because they are not our own, they can tend to grate on us over time.
One of my favorite comedians is Mark Gungor. He has a great routine on this topic. He says that the fundamental argument in most marriages is “Why can’t you be more like me? I’m fabulous, and you are clearly mentally deranged.”
Very Common Problem.
At the office, where people are often operating many hours per week in close proximity, the petty annoyances build up to a flashpoint regularly, and we attempt to “fix” the other person because the clipping of his nails every few days drives us crazy.
We need to realize that the petty problems are just that, and truth be told, we probably annoy the other person as much as he does us. Is there no hope for a peaceful coexistence? Thankfully, the answer is “yes.”
How to Liberate Yourself
The first thing to realize is that when you dwell on the habits of other people, what you are really doing is making yourself miserable. You do have a choice to rise above the petty problems and create more joy for yourself. By doing so you enhance the relationship for both people and have less conflict in your life.
For some reason, our Creator programmed in a tendency to want to influence other people to have similar habits to our own. It probably originates as an ego response. Get over it and you will be much happier and also much more popular.
Just because another human being’s issues are driving us crazy does not mean we need to dwell on these negative thoughts and suffer. We are really cheating ourselves out of a happier existence.
Get into the habit of looking past the issues that bug you every day. Stop trying to “fix” the other people in your life and you will live a happier life.
Here is a 3-minute video that contains more information on the technique to live and let live.
Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of four books: 1.The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals (2003), 2. Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online (2006), 3. Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind (2009), and 4. Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change (2014). In addition, he has authored over 1000 articles and videos on various topics in leadership and trust. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.