Building Higher Trust Archives

Building Higher Trust 123 Extend More Trust

May 4, 2023

The best way to build more trust is to extend more trust. At first, it sounds like a poor strategy because not everyone is worthy of your trust. If someone is acting in a non-trustworthy manner, wouldn’t it backfire to extend more trust? The answer is usually no.

There are situations where it is just not smart to extend trust. In most cases, it is a good strategy simply because trust is reciprocal. To see more trust with another person, you should extend more trust.

Example of where it would not be wise to extend more trust

This concept should not be taken literally in every case. Suppose your brother has a severe drinking problem and wants to borrow your car to go to a party. Handing him the keys as a show of trust would be a dangerous strategy. That would not prevent you from showing him more trust in other ways.

Real-life examples are not that extreme

Trusting another person to take your precious dog for a walk would seem like not that much of a risk. It is all a matter of judgment, but if you take the risk, you will likely be heading in the right direction. This analysis is true in nearly all situations.

Video of a real situation

Here is a link to a 3-minute video on this topic. It contains a real story about when I suggested to a leader that he show more trust in his people. The video is entitled Find a Way to Extend More Trust.

Many leaders fall into the trap of demanding their employees show 100% trustworthiness before they will trust them. That strategy is one reason why so many organizations struggle. They are afraid of losing control so they withhold trust, and it works against the culture of the organization.

Logic as given by Stephen M.R. Covey

In his new book Trust and Inspire, Stephen M.R. Covey makes a recommendation along the lines of what I am suggesting here. He points out that when we trust people to do the right thing, we unleash the greatness inside them. The old “command and control” approach to leadership does not work in our world anymore.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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Building Higher Trust 122 Show Empathy

April 28, 2023

Empathy is a critical ingredient for building trust. When leaders feel the emotions of others, it leads to sound decisions. People recognize that their situation was factored into the equation. Their feelings were a part of the analysis.

Some confusion about empathy

Sometimes people confuse the concept of empathy with sympathy. Here are the distinctions between the two concepts.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Those feelings can be positive or negative. They can include confusion and frustration. Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and feeling what they are feeling. It requires a deep level of emotional intelligence. It can help people build connections and relationships with others.

Sympathy, on the other hand, is a feeling of pity or sorrow for someone else’s situation. While sympathy involves recognizing someone else’s pain, it does not necessarily involve feeling that pain yourself, although it can. Sympathy is more about acknowledging someone else’s feelings without necessarily experiencing them firsthand.

Daniel Goleman (Father of Emotional Intelligence) added some detail

He said that there are three stages of empathy.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand another person’s perspective. It’s being able to see things from their point of view.

Emotional empathy is the ability to feel another person’s emotions. When you’re emotionally empathetic, you can feel what the other person is feeling—joy, pain, love, fear, etc.

Somatic empathy is the ability to feel another person’s physical sensations. This type of empathy is often seen in medical professionals. They can sense what might be wrong with a patient just by looking at them or touching them lightly.

How is all this related to trust?

The subtle distinctions between empathy and sympathy can get complex. Let’s see if I can give a more simplified distinction of the difference between the two concepts.

With sympathy, we can relate to another person’s pain and maybe even feel it ourselves in some situations. Sympathy is always about negative things that are going on. We cringe when we see another person put her hand on the hot burner of a stove.

Empathy is all about relating to what is going on within another person, both positive and negative. It is a more balanced concept. I believe that is why empathy is a more reliable predictor of trust. Leaders who demonstrate empathy are really creating trust along the way. It is a way of demonstrating care.

Additional benefits of showing empathy

Empathy has many benefits that go beyond enhancing trust between people. These include:

Having more realistic expectations and not pressuring people
Enhanced communication and care in conversations
Higher Emotional Intelligence, where people feel heard and understood
Greater Psychological safety where people can be candid about their feelings without fear
Improved problem-solving and more robust decisions

Conclusion

Showing empathy is an excellent way to reduce problems between people. Practice using more empathy in all your relationships. It will help build trust.

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Building Higher Trust 121 Avoid Flip Flops

April 20, 2023

Flip-flops are fine for the beach but not helpful in business. You can build higher trust simply by avoiding flip-flops.

Sometimes it is hard to do that because the conditions around a business are changing all the time. What worked yesterday may not play out well today. This article describes how leaders can operate with the necessary flexibility while avoiding a flip-flop reputation.

A classic flip-flop occurs when a leader institutes a new policy and reverses it at a later date. The policy may also be reinstated as well. That is the classic flip-flop that people don’t like.

Never try to sell a change without an explanation for why it is necessary

The common mistake made by many leaders is to assume people understand why a rule needs to change. Before announcing a change, explain why this is a needed reaction to a changing world. Advise leaders to use the words in their explanation. “I want to avoid making a flip-flop so everyone understands why this change is essential. This is not being done on a whim.”

An example of a Flip-Flop

Suppose there is a policy that we do not publish earning figures by product line. We only give out aggregate figures. Now, suppose some manager believes it is better to show all the detail, so she changes the reporting pattern without a lot of fanfare. After a couple of months, she reverted to the original pattern after some employees wrote nasty questions on social media. They wanted to know the rationale for changing a long-standing policy on the fly. The manager did a flip-flop, which gives the appearance of hiding something or doing something underhanded.

When people felt they had to go on social media to gripe, that is an indication of low trust, to begin with. If they had questions about why the manager made the original change, they should have gone directly to her.

People get weary of too many changes

Try to keep the number of procedural changes to the bare minimum. When considering making a change to a standard procedure, stop and think about how it will be received. Do not assume most people can figure out the driving force for the change. Be specific and clear, and stress that you want to keep changes to a minimum.

Recognize that some changes will require modification to training programs and onboarding instructions. Try to keep the original intent of the action intact while issuing a modification to how it is accomplished. Showing sensitivity to how people are reacting to a change will help.

Summary

Avoid policy changes where possible and explain the rationale for those you cannot avoid. Also, make sure the new procedure is well established in the culture before considering it done. If you have to change the procedure back to the original, make sure people know why you did it.

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Building Higher Trust 120 Trust Triangle

April 13, 2023

In this article, I will summarize three conditions for trust that I call the Trust Triangle. First I will review the work of three other authors who are friends and have written on trust. I will share the essence of their models and then add my own to the analysis.

The most prolific author I know on trust is my friend Stephen M. R. Covey.

The Speed of Trust

Stephen presents a trust model of thirteen behaviors that are separated into two categories of “character” and “competence.” The thirteen behaviors together give a holistic view of trust that is inspiring. He points out the opposite of each behavior and also the counterfeit that seems consistent but is not.

Smart Trust

Stephen’s second book was Smart Trust. In that book he hypotheses that we make trust decisions based on three core competencies. The first is “Analysis,” the second is “Judgment,” and the third is “Action.” He points out that trust is an ongoing process that requires continual attention.

Trust and Inspire

Stephen’s most recent book (2022) points out that the world has changed. The old style of leadership, known as “command and control,” will no longer work in a post-COVID world. His theory is that it is time for a “Trust and Inspire” form of leadership. His model is based on three stewardships of leadership. These are “Modeling” (who you are), Inspiring (connect to why), and Trusting (how you lead).

Charlie Green wrote a fascinating book entitled The Trusted Advisor.

Charlie believes leaders need to show a combination of Competence, Credibility, and Character to create trust. He points out that trust is situational and requires constant effort to maintain. His Trust equation is as follows: Trust = Credibility +Reliability + Intimacy / Self-Orientation.

Charles Feltman wrote a great book entitled The Thin Book of Trust

In it, Charles provides one of the better definitions of trust that I have ever heard. “Trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”

Charles’ model for trust focuses on sincerity, reliability, competence, and care. He posits that violations can damage trust. To rebuild trust, individuals must 1) acknowledge the violation, 2) take responsibility, and 3) make amends.

My own model

Trying to keep things simple yet operational, I offer the idea that trust is a triangle. It consists of three sides that all begin with the letter L. The first side is a “Lack of Fear.” This means that leaders have built a culture of high psychological safety. People are not fearful that their opinions are going to cause them pain.

The second side is “Laughter.” When we refuse to take offense at other people we can maintain a culture of goodwill and trust. The atmosphere will be light and pleasant.

The third side is “Love.” When we demonstrate that we really care for each other, it allows trust between us to grow.

Conclusion

There are literally hundreds of models on the topic of trust. I have highlighted the work of four authors in this article. If one of the definitions resonates with you, then feel free to embrace it. If another model suits your fancy, then create your own.

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Building Higher Trust 119 Sailing Downwind

April 6, 2023

I have written about the work of several other authors in this series on trust. It might be appropriate to summarize my own body of knowledge on the topic. In 2009 I published my third book entitled, Leading With Trust is like Sailing Downwind.

Sailing Downwind: Central Theme of the book

Leaders who know how to build a culture of high trust have a huge advantage. It is like steering a boat in the direction the wind is already blowing. Leaders who cannot maintain high trust sail into the wind. In that configuration, you make less progress while “tacking” and the work is more difficult.

My observation comes after years of contrasting leaders who know how to maintain trust with those who don’t. The former are having a blast while the latter are miserable most of the time.

The most important skill for sailing downwind

To build a culture of high trust, ensure people feel psychological safety. They know that they can say what they believe without any fear of retribution. Leaders who can accomplish this feeling have the most direct route to trust.

Several other observations from the book

Trust is the foundation of effective leadership. Leaders who build and maintain trust are more likely to achieve success in their roles. Trust is essential for building strong relationships, creating a positive work culture, and fostering innovation and collaboration.
Trust is earned through consistent behavior. You are not given trust; it is earned through consistent behavior over time. Leaders must be transparent, ethical, and authentic in their actions and decisions.
Trust is a two-way street. It is bilateral. Leaders must trust their employees as well. When they demonstrate trust in their employees, it will inspire greater loyalty and commitment. In turn, employees will be more likely to reciprocate with increased productivity and engagement.
Communication is key to building trust. Leaders must communicate clearly, honestly, and frequently to establish open and honest relationships with their employees.
Trust can be damaged quickly. While trust takes time to build, it can be damaged quickly by even small missteps or lapses in judgment. Leaders must be vigilant in their actions and decisions to maintain trust and avoid eroding it.
Trust is essential for navigating change. It is especially critical during times of change, uncertainty, and crisis. Leaders who have established trust with their employees will be better equipped to navigate difficult situations. They can maintain morale and productivity during challenging times.

Conclusion

If you know how to build, maintain, and repair trust, you are sailing downwind most of the time. Leadership for you will be a blast rather than a chore.

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Building Higher Trust 118 Foundation of Trust

March 30, 2023

In my leadership classes, I do a brainstorm of the things leaders can do to build trust. The entries come quickly. Soon we have a list of more than thirty things leaders can do to build trust. The items are all pretty obvious. Here is a very short list to give an idea of the kinds of things people list:

Walk your talk.
Be honest.
Be transparent.
Praise people when they do well.
Right wrongs.
Show respect.

Once we have a good list, I ask a couple of questions. First, do you agree that all leaders want to build higher trust? They all do! Second, I ask a more probing question. If the way to build trust is so obvious, why do most leaders do a poor job of it? That question is harder to answer. I share my observation based on 40 years of experience with trust. There are four foundational conditions that must be in place for the other actions to build trust. If leaders are not practicing these four concepts, little real trust is generated. It does not matter how much the leaders practice the hundreds of obvious little things.

First Foundation of Trust – Reciprocity

Recognize that trust is always reciprocal; it goes in both directions. If you want to see more trust, you must extend more trust to others. Many leaders forget to extend trust as a precursor. They always fail.

If you are a leader who is not satisfied with the level of trust in your group, ask yourself this question. How much trust am I extending to them?

Second Foundation of Trust – Values

Values are critical as they form the basis for trust to form. Many leaders have a set of great-sounding values, but they do not model them consistently.

Suppose you have a value that “People are our most important asset.” You need to demonstrate it when things are tight and you are considering laying people off. I tell my students, “Values do you the most good when it is difficult or expensive to follow them.” That is when you show that you mean the values that you profess. People will pick up on any compromise or rationalization of the values, and it kills trust.

Third Foundation of Trust – Accountability

I have done a multitude of surveys on trust within organizations. In the majority of cases, accountability turns out to be a significant limiting factor. The reason is that most leaders view accountability as a punitive concept. They visualize catching people doing things wrong and making them feel bad about it. Accountability discussions are usually one-way, ugly, and hurtful.

I show leaders that if they change the concept from punitive to a principle-centered activity, it changes everything. Make sure when having an accountability discussion you stress the following. The reason you are talking is that you really do care about the other person. You want him or her to be successful. Inconsistent performance gets in the way of their credibility, which ultimately limits their success.

Make sure you stress that you and the employee are on the same team. You are working to help each other be successful. Consider that perhaps some of your actions or decisions are making it harder for the employee to perform well.

Fourth Foundation of Trust – Safety

Create a culture where employees feel it is safe to challenge a concept or action. They do not have to worry about some form of retribution. I call the concept “reinforcing candor.”

The leader makes a special effort to make people glad when they bring up scary stuff. The leader listens with empathy and considers the input as valid in the other person’s view. Reinforcing candor is the most direct way to build a culture of higher trust.

I teach leaders to think of one thing first if someone challenges a statement. The first priority is to make the person glad they brought it up. Once you establish a pattern of reinforcing candor, the whole atmosphere changes, and trust starts to grow spontaneously. This is the secret sauce of building trust.

Conclusion

There are hundreds of actions leaders can take that can enhance trust. They first must be grounded in the four foundations I have described in this article. If they do that, then all the little actions will work quickly and effectively at building trust. Leaders must build the foundation first. If they do, all the other actions will enable trust rather than doubt or suspicion.

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Building Higher Trust 117 Trust and Transparency

March 23, 2023

Trust and transparency are intertwined. In my leadership classes, we often get into a debate about trust versus secrecy. Conventional wisdom advises leaders to be more transparent to improve trust. In this brief article, I will share a more balanced viewpoint.

First, let’s deal with an obvious fact. It is not always good to be transparent. If you blurted out every thought floating around in your head, you would have a difficult life. For leaders, the issue of transparency is a major concern from a legal perspective.

Sometimes being transparent is against the law

Suppose a leader is contemplating an action that will have a material impact on the organization’s value. It is against the law to divulge the information until the action has been formally announced. In a merger, you could end up in jail if you are transparent too early.

More transparency is better than less

In most situations, being more transparent is the best philosophy to build trust. The best approach is to be as open as possible with people when discussing future changes. Let’s look at some of the conditions that make leaders hesitant to be transparent. I will try to dispel some myths here.

Worry about sabotage. If the news is not good there is a concern. Think of a layoff as the example here. Once people know their job may be in jeopardy, they may act out in ways that hurt the organization. The truth is that most people can handle bad news if it is offered in the right way and at the right time.
Spoiled relationships. Sometimes the news will focus on an individual or specific group. In that case, sharing the information may lead to open warfare between those individuals. Hoarding the information only makes the damage worse when the truth comes out.
Leaking out too much process knowledge. Sometimes the nature of the information would provide the competition an advantage if they knew what was about to happen. That is a legitimate concern if it is real.
Suppose plans are embryonic. Sometimes a planned action may not be carried out for several months. There is an incubation period where you need to study different options. If potential changes were shared too early, it would add confusion to the decision process.

Rule of thumb to link trust and transparency

When leaders are contemplating a “gag rule” they need to think twice. If they are not sharing something they know to be true, a flag should go up. Think through not only the short-term implications of withholding information but the long-term as well. There will be exceptions, but the majority of times it is better to share the information. Share it with sensitivity if it is troubling information but don’t hide it.

Conclusion

Trust and transparency normally go hand in hand. Make sure your decisions to withhold any information are thought through carefully. It can be a delicate balance. The best policy is to display trust by being transparent with your people.

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Building Higher Trust 116 Trust is a Marathon

March 16, 2023

Building trust between people is a never-ending process. There is no finish line. Managers who attempt to build higher trust with short-term programs or gimmicks are usually disappointed in the end.

Trust between people is similar to the concept of love. You never stop investing in the relationship. Recognize there will be times of setbacks, so you want to have as much trust equity to draw on as possible.

The marathon has no finish line

The concept of a race with no finish line is difficult to imagine, but that is exactly what is going on with trust. When we engage in building a relationship of trust, we keep putting one foot in front of the other forever. This process sounds exhausting until you realize the benefits you accrue all along the route.

Benefits of the marathon

I will list a few of the benefits you gain when investing in higher trust with another person. A full list is impossible because it is really infinite. Let’s take a look at some of the obvious benefits.

Better communication. When you have a relationship of trust, you do not need to encode your messages with spin. You can be your authentic self and know your messages are not only heard but understood. If there is any doubt, the other person will ask for clarification.
Improved alignment. You and the other person will align in terms of the shared vision. This benefit happens naturally because you are both viewing the world through the same prism. The result is higher empowerment because there is no gap in understanding.
Less tension. Both of you have the blessing of spending your time in harmonic appreciation. The world is a more joyful place to be.
Support when needed. You both can feel the benefit of having someone who is on your side, no matter what is going on. That confidence is a huge blessing when things get messy.
Productivity will be higher. Several studies have shown the relationship between trust and productivity. An environment of high trust is two to five times more productive than a low trust situation. There is no time lost in bickering and no need to circle back with justifications.
A real environment, with no games. In a high-trust culture, you have a strong feeling that what is unfolding in front of you is real. People are not playing games with each other.

It is easy to see why smart leaders are willing to put in the effort of the trust marathon. For one thing, life gets easier rather than more difficult. The improved culture is well worth the effort to keep running.

Conclusion

Picture the process of building and maintaining trust as a marathon. You never reach the finish line, but why would you want to? The benefits are so overwhelming, you would be a fool to take any other path.

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Building Higher Trust 115 Unexpected Trust

March 9, 2023

Unexpected trust is a very powerful form of trust between people. This condition happens for a number of reasons that I will explain. The result can be a huge powerful gain in trust, especially for leaders.

What is unexpected trust?

When people have been working in a low-trust environment, they naturally expect the abuse to continue. There is no reason to believe that a clueless manager is going to make a change.

In reality, when most leaders are showing low trust in people, they are not even aware of it. One cause is the false assumption that if the leader does not check up on people they will abuse the system.

Conventional remuneration schemes for organizations have historically been based on hours worked. There is a natural tendency to check that people are working as much as they report. That is called command and control.

In the conventional office setup, managers can see when people are not applying themselves to the work. When working remotely, it requires some form of extra verification such as a tracking system.

Tracking systems lower trust

All tracking systems have ways they can be defeated or at best confused into sending false signals. When this happens, managers are forced to verify the tracking system, and more damage is done. In these situations, both the employee and the manager are miserable. Trust takes a hit.

There were several studies done near the start of the COVID pandemic. Most of them show that unmonitored employees put in more than the expected hours. The reverse is also true. Heavily monitored employees found ways to trick the system and worked less than expected.

There are many different techniques that can take the sting out of tracking systems. One is to simply eliminate them.

Try visibly removing a system that checks up on employees

Management could simply reiterate the expected work hours (typically 40 per week) and show trust that employees would comply. This seeming loss of control would actually result in higher levels of work performed. A manager could explain it to the crew by stating the rationale. “Since I trust you, there is no reason to continue this cumbersome checking system.”

In addition, the quality of work would increase because people would not feel the prying eyes of the managers. The unexpected trust would be refreshing for the workers.

Unexpected trust when a new manager takes over

One convenient time to shift from heavy control to one of higher trust is when a new manager arrives. The manager can state that this is a new era in trusting the workforce to do what is right. Not only would the quantity of work increase dramatically, but the problem of turnover would go down. The quality of work would improve also.

In addition, the phenomenon of “quiet quitting” would go away because there is no longer a reason for the employee to play games.

Summary: Less control means more work

Most managers have trouble believing that lower control means more work gets done. Once they realize the tremendous leverage they are missing, maybe conditions will change. If you cannot believe this, then try an experiment in a small group. You will see the amazing power of unexpected trust.

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Building Higher Trust 113 Every Day Trust

March 2, 2023

Every day we experience trust thousands of times, but we rarely are aware of that. Can you imagine what it would be like to have a life without trust? It is pretty hard to do. I will attempt to do it in this brief article. Trust is so ubiquitous in our lives that we don’t recognize it unless there is some kind of failure.

What is life without trust like?

Let’s take the start of a day and remove the trust to see what it would be like. First thing, the alarm goes off. Oops, we were trusting the alarm to ring at the time we set. If the clock broke or we set it wrong, we would wake up when our bodies got tired of sleeping.

We sit up in bed and turn on the light switch. Oops, we expected the light to go on. If it does not, there could be several different causes to investigate.

We walk into the bathroom and turn on the spigot. Oops, we expected there to be plenty of water and that we could regulate the temperature to suit. We also trust that the water is safe to drink. Unless something unusual is going on, we do not test our water every day.

On and on it goes until finally, we are dressed and ready to go down for breakfast. Of course, we trusted our child to put away his matchbox car. Did he leave it on the stair for us to slip on?

Life without trust at breakfast

We grab the orange juice and have faith that it has not expired. We don’t even check unless it tastes funny. We pop in a vitamin pill without giving any thought to the actual chemicals involved. We also do not picture the person who packaged the pills.

We pour our cereal and assume it is not contaminated by bugs. We turn on the TV to catch the news and our favorite channel works. The number of times we trust at breakfast alone is in the hundreds.

Life without trust in the garage

We are now ready to go to work. We push the button and the garage door goes up automatically. We get in the car and step on the brake. We turn on the ignition and do not think about the thousands of explosions going on under the hood.

We put the car in reverse, and the vehicle backs out slowly, just as we expected.

We get to the end of our street and step on the brake. Magically, the car stops, even though the engine is still running.

We get onto the highway and go over an overpass. We have no compunction about this because we have no reason to suspect the car will fall into the river below.

We simply expect the other drivers to follow conventional rules and laws. Sometimes that is a stretch, especially when it comes to speed limits.

The process is ongoing and never ends

This description was bare bones in order to get the message across in a compact form. You realize there are hundreds of other trust areas I left out.

The point is that on any given day we all experience trust thousands of times and never give it any thought unless there is a failure. If some system has a problem and fails, then we notice it for sure.

What about trust with other people?

Apart from the things and systems in our lives, we have trusting relationships with every other person we know. We have stated or implied agreements on how we will treat each other. When a violation happens, regardless of the reason, we become upset and concerned. We seek to eliminate these annoyances in our lives.

Sometimes the pattern of disappointment with another person reaches a state where we no longer trust the other person with anything. We assume the person will not follow through. When that happens, the relationship is pretty much doomed unless there is a kind of intervention.

Conclusion

It is impossible to live without trust. We manage trust every day of our life in thousands of ways and rarely think about it. Trust becomes the anchor to secure the elements of our lives. Recognize and respect your relationships of trust with systems and people.

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Building Higher Trust 123 Extend More Trust

Building Higher Trust 122 Show Empathy

Building Higher Trust 121 Avoid Flip Flops

Building Higher Trust 120 Trust Triangle

Building Higher Trust 119 Sailing Downwind

Building Higher Trust 118 Foundation of Trust

Building Higher Trust 117 Trust and Transparency

Building Higher Trust 116 Trust is a Marathon

Building Higher Trust 115 Unexpected Trust

Building Higher Trust 113 Every Day Trust

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