Sticky Values

March 25, 2024

Does your organization have Sticky Values? It seems like a strange juxtaposition of words, so let me explain the important concept here. In professional training circles, many authors have written about how to make training programs sticky.

Have the training materials be so real and compelling that people remember and apply them in the future. The same condition can apply to the values of an organization. This article is about how to accomplish that. It also stresses how vital it is to have the values be sticky.

Values are crucial to organizations

Values form the bedrock of how we operate daily. Select them from a list of candidates in a serious and thoughtful process. Avoid the temptation of having a long list of values. It is better to have five or six strong values than a list of 20 of them. The reason is that people must be able to remember and apply the values daily.

It is helpful if the first letters of the values form an acronym that people can remember. For example, the values of my corporation spell out the word LIGHT (Loyalty, Integrity, Generosity, Honesty, and Trust). I use a picture of outstretched hands with light emanating from them in my materials.

The Actions of Leaders make all the difference

Leaders must communicate and model the values at all times. If something seems odd or difficult to people, the leader needs to explain it. “We are doing this because we have a value of integrity (or whatever value applies).”

The values need to be incorporated into the onboarding and all training programs of the organization. Employees need to be allowed to give feedback on how well the values are being followed.

Share successes and failures with transparency and consider each instance a teachable moment. Be sure to reinforce behaviors consistent with the values. Also, hold the entire organization accountable for always following the values.

Demonstrate unwavering commitment

Values are most helpful to organizations when following them would be difficult or expensive. When it is easy to follow a value, we just do it. But if it is painful to follow a value, we get the chance to show we really mean it. Never try to rationalize not following a value because it is inconvenient. Doing that destroys the effectiveness of values.

Conclusion

Consistently uphold the values, especially during difficult times. You reinforce their authenticity and credibility when you do that. Your values will become sticky and provide great value to the organization in the long run.


Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at http://www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763

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Elicit More Ideas

March 17, 2024

If you are a leader, in many situations it is important to elicit several ideas. By holding back on your brilliant opinion of what to do, you can usually draw out more insightful ideas. Let’s examine some examples.

To make enlightened decisions, leaders need good information. Sometimes it is helpful for you to just listen to the ideas of others. Rather than blurting out your preconceived notion, consider asking more questions. You will elicit far more information from other people.

The way to execute this strategy is simple. Refrain from making absolute statements, and ask a lot of open-ended questions. This process draws out alternate points of view from individuals. It allows you to hear many nuances before tipping your hand.

Don’t display hubris and expound your perspective on every issue before others have a chance to voice their ideas. Being too smart is often a dumb strategy. Of course, no rule of thumb works in every situation. You need to know when the time is right to divulge your opinion. Keep in mind that your opinion may change after you hear the thoughts of others.

Making Decisions

The same logic holds when making decisions after gathering information. Ask, “What do you think we should do,” instead of saying, “Here is what we should do.” Doing this would draw out the best ideas available.

Understand the dynamic and catch yourself in the act. By being alert to the dangers of advocating too early, you can improve your batting average. Allow everyone to enter the conversation at an appropriate level. Make sure to consider using their ideas, not just default to your own opinions.

Sometimes You Need to Act Fast

In a crisis situation, you may need to be highly directive and quick on the draw. Usually, it is better for you to allow conversation around sensitive issues. Then work with people to find the best solution.

It is important to catch yourself interjecting too soon and begin to train yourself to have more patience. God gave you two ears and one mouth, because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Many leaders do not understand this simple logic, and it works to their detriment.

Bob Whipple is CEO of Leadergrow, Inc. an organization dedicated to growing leaders. He can be reached at bwhipple@leadergrow.com. Website http://www.leadergrow.com BLOG http://www.thetrustambassador.com He is author of the following books: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change.



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Announcing a Downsizing

February 19, 2024

Announcing a downsizing is an extremely delicate leadership challenge. The subject of organizational change has numerous complexities and tripwires for leaders. In this brief paper, we will address only the issue of announcing a downsizing.

The most crucial shortage threatening our world is not oil, money, or any other physical resource. It is the lack of enlightened leaders who know how to build trust and transparency while navigating change. We need more leaders who can establish and maintain the right kind of environment even when conditions are difficult.

Difficult Times

The current work climate for leaders exacerbates the problem. Many organizations have been forced to take draconian measures to survive. It is difficult to maintain trust and transparency in these environments.

Leaders need to make difficult decisions in a way that maintains the essence of trust. An impending downsizing offers a major challenge for any leader. While no one formula fits every situation, here are some ideas that might be helpful.

Be More Open

When a downsizing is imminent, many managers wrestle with when and how to break the news. On the surface, it feels like the safer thing to do is to procrastinate on announcing the difficult news. It is often the wrong way to go for the long-term health of the organization.

There are processes that allow leaders to downsize and still keep the backbone of the organization strong. It takes exceptional skill and care to accomplish it. Restructuring the workflow to be more efficient is vital.

The trick is to not fall victim to the conventional surgical methods that have been ineffective in the past. Yes, we can cut off a leg in the back woods with a bucksaw and a bottle of whiskey. There are far less painful, but safer and more effective ways to accomplish such a traumatic pruning.

Be Transparent During the Planning

One tool is to be as transparent as possible during the planning phase. HR managers insist there is a risk of projecting a need for downsizing. It might lead to sabotage or other forms of rebellion. There are often legal considerations with premature divulging of information.

We must consider a balance of factors. The irony is, that even with the best secrecy, people will be aware of an impending layoff before it is announced. Just as nature hates a vacuum, people find a void in communication intolerable.

Uncertainty is a Poison

Not knowing what is going to happen is an incredibly potent poison. Human beings are far more resilient to bad news than to uncertainty. Information freely given is a kind of anesthesia that allows managers to accomplish difficult operations with far less trauma. This practice can be helpful for three reasons.

1) It allows time for people to assimilate and deal with the emotional upheaval and adjust their life plans accordingly.

2) Sharing plans treats employees like adults who are respected enough to hear the bad news. They are not children who must be sheltered from reality until the last minute.

3) It allows time for the people who will be leaving to train those who will inherit their work.

All three of these reasons, while not pleasant, work to enhance rather than destroy trust.

Significant Caveat

One caveat is that pre-announcing a downsizing may cause some of the best people to go job hunting elsewhere. The wise manager understands this and makes sure the critical resources know their employment is secure. It is also important to share that workloads will be reasonable after the downsizing. It is better to be open about the situation than to have people making assumptions based on speculation.

Conclusion

Full and timely disclosure of information is only one of many tools leaders can use. It maintains and even grows trust while executing unpleasant necessities.

The method is not universal for every situation and culture. It will have merit in most situations and should at least be considered as an option. The situation is not hopeless. We simply need to teach leaders the benefits of trust and transparency and how to maintain them.


Bob Whipple, MBA, CPLP, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at http://www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com or 585.392.7763

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Can Trust be Bought?

February 12, 2024

The question of whether trust can be bought comes up from time to time. Trust is a delicate and pivotal component of human relationships. We typically envision that trust must be earned over time through consistency, reliability, and ethical behavior. This article explores the complex dynamics of trust and the implications of attempting to influence it with money.

The Nature of Trust

Trust is a multifaceted concept that involves a belief in the reliability, integrity, and competence of another party. It is cultivated through shared experiences, consistent behavior, and a sense of dependability. Trust is not easily quantifiable, and its development requires a genuine investment in building connections. Most people feel that trust must be earned rather than bought.

Monetizing Trust

The influence of money on interpersonal relationships is undeniable. Companies invest heavily in building trust with their customers through transparent business practices, quality products, and effective communication. The appearance of trustworthiness can be manufactured through financial investments but real trust requires a different commitment.
Trust, by its very nature, requires a deeper understanding of human values, shared goals, and ethical considerations. Attempting to buy trust through monetary means may lead to a transactional relationship. It is not a foundation built on mutual understanding and respect. The result may appear to be trust, but it is not the genuine article we all desire.

An Organizational Example

Sometimes organizations attempt to attain higher engagement and trust by giving out periodic gifts. These goodies are welcomed by the workers at first, but the net result will likely not be as intended. The workers will eventually view the gifts as a kind of bribe. It would be obvious if the expense for the gifts meant workers were not paid a competitive wage. Even though the goal was to build higher trust, the outcome would be the opposite.

Building Authentic Trust

Authentic trust is built on a foundation of transparency, reliability, and ethical conduct. It requires time, consistent behavior, and a genuine commitment to the well-being of the other party. Financial contributions may play a small role in fostering trust. However, they are most effective when aligned with ethical practices and genuine efforts to create positive and meaningful relationships.

Conclusion

In the complex web of human relationships, trust remains a cornerstone that cannot be bought. While financial transactions and investments can contribute to the appearance of trustworthiness, authentic trust requires a more nuanced approach. Trust must be earned.

Ultimately, building trust involves understanding and respecting the needs and values of others. Trust is something that transcends the transactional nature of monetary exchanges, requiring a more profound and authentic connection.

Robert Whipple is also the author of The TRUST Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change. Bob consults and speaks on these and other leadership topics. He is CEO of Leadergrow Inc. a company dedicated to growing leaders.




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Building Trust Remotely

January 21, 2024

I have heard that building trust remotely is more difficult than when you have a local team. It stands to reason that working together in close proximity will allow teams to work out the kinks.

In reality, it all depends on the quality of the leaders. With poor leadership, working together can lead to even more difficulties than working apart.

Let’s look at some ideas leaders can use to allow teams to build strong trust remotely.

1. At first, work face-to-face on a set of foundational team principles. The principles include values, vision, mission, and behaviors. Establish these four elements together and get a strong agreement before proceeding.

2. Establish a culture of mutual support and care. When there are apparent disconnects, always assume the best intent. Investigate the differences and seek win-win solutions.

3. Increase transparency. Work to increase the level of information shared. This action demonstrates trust for the team members. They will reciprocate by showing more trust in the team.

4. Promote psychological safety. Have everyone understand that it is safe to voice concerns. Reinforce rather than punish their candor.

5. Communicate more with remote members. Let people know they are not forgotten, but do so in a loving way. Avoid the temptation to “check-up” on people who are remote. Check-in rather than check-up.

6. Encourage reasonable risk-taking. Help the entire team realize that creativity leads to growth. If there are setbacks, use them as learning opportunities. Be sure to celebrate when the team moves forward.

7. Nip small problems in the bud. Do not let the vicissitudes of life and work boil up into major obstacles. Pay attention to what is going on behind the scenes.

8. When difficult measures are unavoidable, allow people time to grieve. Most people have the ability to bounce back after a setback if the culture is supportive.

Conclusion
These are just a few of the rules that can help leaders build trust remotely. They take practice and patience, but they really do work if applied correctly.

The preceding information was adapted from the book Leading with Trust is like Sailing Downwind, by Robert Whipple. It is available on http://www.leadergrow.com.

Robert Whipple is also the author of The TRUST Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change. Bob consults and speaks on these and other leadership topics. He is CEO of Leadergrow Inc. a company dedicated to growing leaders.


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Better Reinforcement

January 14, 2024

Reinforcement needs to be better at all levels. It is especially important recently as people are more strung out and many of them are remote.

Better Reinforcement Is Intrinsic

When people are properly recognized, they develop habits of doing the right things because it makes them feel good. The feeling becomes intrinsic. People are doing their best at all times, not just when the boss has a chance to witness it.

Of all the tools at a leader’s command, positive recognition is by far the most powerful. Unfortunately, better reinforcement can be a minefield of potential problems. Many leaders, after getting burned, become reluctant to use it. By cutting back, they ignore the most powerful correcting force available to them.

Typical Mistakes

It is sad that many attempts at positive reinforcement actually lower motivation and engagement. You have probably experienced this yourself, either on the sending or receiving end, and it can be very frustrating. There are four reasons why recognition can have a negative impact.

1. Overdone – The overuse of trinkets, buttons, T-shirts, or stickers to reinforce every positive action gets old quickly.

2. Insincere – Insincerity is transparent. When a manager says nice things about you that do not come from the heart, you know it instantly.

3. Not Perceived As Positive – What people find reinforcing is a matter of individual taste. Some people like cakes while others prefer a handshake.

4. Unfair – Of all the reasons for not reinforcing well, the issue of fairness is the most common. If they praise Sally publicly, it makes her feel good but tends to turn off Joe and Mark. They believe they did more than she did.

That dynamic is why the “employee of the month” concept often backfires. It sets up a kind of implied competition where one person is singled out for attention. One person wins while everyone else loses.

Better Reinforcement

If recognition occurs at all levels, then the culture will thrive. That culture is a social norm that encourages everyone to honestly appreciate each other and say so.

As a leader, you want to develop this kind of atmosphere, but how? A good place to start is with yourself. Make sure you are practicing sincere recognition in a way that others see and appreciate. Create an atmosphere where everyone understands and places high value on better reinforcement.

Transform The Culture

A reinforcing culture transforms an organization from a “what’s wrong” mindset to one of “what’s right.” The quality and quantity of work increase dramatically because you have harnessed energy previously lost in bickering. You put it into positive work toward the vision. What an uplifting way to increase productivity!

Don’t get discouraged if you make a mistake in reinforcing. Sometimes you will. It is an area of significant peril, but its power is immense. Continually monitor your success level with reinforcement. Talk about it openly, and work to have better reinforcement. Consider every mistake a learning event for everyone, especially yourself.

Conclusion

Let your recognition be joyous and spontaneous. Let people help you make it special. Reinforcement is the most powerful elixir available to a leader. Don’t shy away from it because it’s difficult or you’ve made mistakes in the past.




Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.

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I’m Okay, You’re Not Okay

January 7, 2024

Have you ever had the thought that you were okay but other people needed to change?

Most people have a rather long list of things that other individuals must do to improve. They have a rather short list of things they need to change in their own behavior.

It is human nature to excuse our own shortcomings while focusing on the improvement needs of others. The world is full of almost perfect people who wish the other people around them would shape up. Hmmm… something is wrong with this picture. What makes you okay but others not so much? Here are a dozen tips that can change the pattern for you.

1. Reverse the Roles.

The other day a student was venting about a particular individual who was a major challenge at work. The student described in gory detail several things the other person did that drove him up the wall.

I asked him to write an analysis about himself from the perspective of that other person. In other words, what would the other person tell me about him if he had the chance. It may be startling.

2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

Most married couples fight over the little things that become habitual annoyances. The position of the toilet seat is a great example. Let go of the little things that do not matter.

3. Live and Let Live.

If a cubicle mate hums when she is happy, it is no reason to have a coronary over it. This is her outlet and way to be cheerful. Focus energy on creating your own sphere of cheerfulness rather than trying to change her.

4. Punch Out Early, Don’t Punch Out the Person.

If someone is bothering you, just go for a little vacation in your mind. Imagine smelling the giant pines if you love to hike. Feel the frost on your cheeks if you like to ski. Imagining happier places has kept many POWs alive for years. The same technique can keep you sane until 5 o’clock.

5. Share a treat.

If someone is not okay in your opinion, bring him in a bag of his favorite flavor of coffee. By extending kindness, you will get kindness in return. Usually, people know what they do that drives us crazy. Change your body language rather than keep festering about “their problem.” Learn to accentuate the positive.

6. Extend Trust.

Trust is reciprocal. You can improve another person’s trust in you by extending more trust to him or her. When you build up a higher account balance of trust, the petty issues seem to melt away. You are focused on what is good about the other person rather than idiosyncrasies that drive you bonkers.

7. Don’t Complain About Others Behind Their Back.

Speak well of other people as much as possible. The old adage “if you cannot say something nice about someone don’t say anything” is really good advice.
Never make a joke about another person at his or her expense.

8. Stop Acting Like Children.

People who are disagreeing often take steps that are similar to a food fight in grade school. Escalating e-mail notes is a great example of this phenomenon. I call them e-grenade battles. It is easy to avoid these squabbles if you simply do not take the bait.

9. Care About the Other Person.

If you really care enough to not sweat the small stuff, then you can tolerate inconveniences a lot better. What you get back from others is really a reflection of the vibes you put out yourself.

10. Picture the other person as the most important person in your life.

Life is short and to expend energy griping about others really wastes your most precious resource – your time. How much better it is to go through life laughing and loving than griping and hating.

11. Have your own personal development plan.

Start out each day with some ideas on how you want to present yourself better to other people. Have a list of areas where you are trying to be more okay. This healthy mindset starves the rotten attitudes that can lead you to undermine the actions of others.

12. Follow the Golden Rule.

Finally, the famous Golden Rule is the most positive way to prevent petty issues from becoming relationship destroyers.

Take the time to figure out how you would like to be treated if the roles were reversed. You will usually make the right choice for building and preserving great relationships.

The preceding information was adapted from the book Leading with Trust is like Sailing Downwind, by Robert Whipple. It is available on http://www.leadergrow.com.

Robert Whipple is also the author of The TRUST Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change. Bob consults and speaks on these and other leadership topics. He is CEO of Leadergrow Inc. a company dedicated to growing leaders.

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Leader Talk Listen Ratio

January 2, 2024

The Talk Listen Ratio is one interesting measure of the skill of a leader. It is a pretty easy concept to understand. If we look at the extremes, neither of them is a good place to be.

High Talker

If the ratio is over 80%, then the leader is monopolizing conversations. Unfortunately, many leaders operate in this range for much of the time. They may be able to get compliance out of people, but they are leaving the power of people off the table.

Low Talker

On the other extreme, if a leader’s ratio is below 20%, there is going to be a detachment. This leader is too reticent with his or her thoughts. People will begin to wonder if the person is truly engaged in the mission of the group.

It is easy to see the extremes do not work well. A balance, like perhaps between 40% and 60% might work better. The leader is open with his or her thoughts, but also interested in the ideas of others. I recommend every leader ought to have some way to keep track. Most leaders are blind to the actual ratio they achieve on a daily basis.

The Best Ratio is Situational

The optimal ratio is situational. For example, if the leader was trying to outline her vision of the future, a higher ratio is expected. The purpose of that conversation is to share her views.

Let’s say the leader is trying to console a worker who has just lost a loved one. The better ratio would be much lower. In that conversation, the main objective is to let the person grieve.

Try to Lower Your Ratio

Most leaders would be better off if they would take their natural tendency and lower the ratio by 20%. If I naturally take up 80% of the air time, I might get a much better result by operating at 60%.

This rule does not hold for leaders who naturally operate at 40% or lower. They should seek to maintain their current level or increase it.

How to Measure Your Ratio

It is possible to monitor your own ratio in certain circumstances. However, it is distracting to keep track, so the quality of communication is compromised. It is especially difficult to keep track yourself when you are emotionally upset or excited.
In these cases, it is helpful to ask another person to make a mental note of your ratio and tell you later.

The precision will not be to the second decimal place, but that precision is not required. Determine your typical ratio during several kinds of discussions. A 20% accuracy is enough to allow you to change your habits through a feedback process.

Conclusion

Few leaders think about their ratio or make an effort to measure or control it. If you are keeping track and working your way down the scale, congratulations. You are likely one of the elite leaders of our time.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind, and Trust in Transition. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at http://www.Leadergrow.com, bwhipple@leadergrow.com



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Get Accountability Right

December 21, 2023

Many leaders struggle to have accountability discussions get the right result. “Accountability” is a very common word these days because it is frequently done poorly. It often comes across as punitive. Leaders should feel more accountable for their own actions before blaming others.

This article outlines five principles of accountability that all begin with the letter “C.” These principles can help any leader do a better job in this critical area of performance management.

The five principles are:

1) Comprehensive and Balanced
2) Contribution
3) Care
4) Clarify Expectations
5) Collective Responsibility

Putting these five practices in play daily will improve the performance of any organization. Let’s see why it works.

Comprehensive and Balanced

This principle means that the leader must take the big picture of what is going on into account. Make sure that your feedback is balanced. Account for the good things they do as well as the times they fall short.

You destroy trust and rapport when you hold people accountable only when they fall short. Do not allow your accountability discussions to feel punitive to the employee. If most of the work done by an employee is positive, then most of the feedback should be positive.

Contribution

There may be a reason for falling short of expectations that is out of the control of the employee. Sometimes supervisor actions cause employees to fall short. Most people will do a good job if the culture is good. When supervisors micromanage people, they cause the shortfall within the workforce. They are often the root cause of the problems, yet they find it convenient to blame the workers.

Care

When giving feedback, treat the employee the way you would want to be treated if the situation was reversed. The Golden Rule provides excellent guidance in most cases. There are some rare exceptions where the Golden Rule breaks down. Suppose the leader enjoys being yelled at and confronted. If the manager demonstrates real care for the individual, the employee will usually respond well to the input.

You might say something like this. “The reason we are having this discussion is not to put you down or beat on you. I sincerely want you to do well and enjoy success. I care about you and want to enhance your reputation as much as possible.”

Clarify Expectations

People must understand expectations to have any shot at meeting them. In some complex situations, you should write down what is to be done. Often, a failure to perform at the prescribed level can be traced to a misunderstanding between the supervisor and the employee.

Having the employee parrot back the expectation has the additional benefit in the event the deliverable is fuzzy. The supervisor can take the time to reiterate the specific deliverable before the employee attempts to do it. This saves time, money and reduces frustration.

Collective Responsibility

Stress that you and the employee are really on the same team. There is no need for you to be fighting each other.

Conclusion

These five C’s will help you create an environment where holding people accountable is more productive and effective. Try to remember these principles when you are dealing with the people in your life. Following the five C’s of accountability will make you a much more effective leader.

I have written other articles on aspects of accountability in the past. If you want more on this topic, try these articles:

• Trust and Accountability
• Leaders Must Accept Accountability.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of four books: 1.The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals (2003), 2. Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online (2006), 3. Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind (2009), and 4. Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change (2014). In addition, he has authored over 1000 articles and videos on various topics in leadership and trust. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations.



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Trust is a Mirror

December 17, 2023

Here is an interesting observation where trust can act like a mirror. Other people know how you are coming across to them. You are aware of how other people are striking you. The reverse is not always evident.

You can guess how your actions and words are being received as you listen and observe body language. Recognize that your guess may not always be accurate. Would it be valuable to have a way to see more clearly how others see you? I think that would be incredibly valuable.

Why Trust is a Mirror

I believe there is a kind of “mirror” that can allow you to see yourself as others do. When you develop a relationship of high trust with another person, you create a mirror. You can know how you are coming across at any point in time with greater accuracy.

With trust, the other person will likely feel more comfortable expressing their feelings. They will often tell you when you are coming on too strong. It may be that you are being too pedantic, uncommitted, or duplicitous.

Why does trust enable this kind of feedback that is so powerful? Trust allows other people to feel safe telling you what they are thinking, without fear. In less trusting relationships, people are more guarded.

When trust is low, giving direct feedback often leads to unintended consequences, and that means damage control. Trust allows people to give you feedback with respect. That condition prevents the need to shelter from your reaction.

Trust and Fear are Opposites

I believe that trust and fear are incompatible. When you remove the fear between people, trust will grow spontaneously. My favorite quote on this phenomenon is, “The absence of fear is the incubator of trust.” Once trust is established, you have a greater chance of knowing how you are coming across to other people.

We are all a work in progress. Nobody is perfect as we exist today. A major part of life is learning and growing. I have always believed that when you stop growing, it is time to order a pine box.

Building Higher Trust

The obvious question is, “How do I go about building relationships of higher trust?” The answer is as simple as the question. You build trust by creating a safe environment for the person who would share information with you.

Part of the equation is to care enough for the other person to pick up on small cues in their body language. You must be sensitive enough to see the signals. Your past reactions have convinced the other person it is safe to share things that are difficult to say. Trust between you and the other person will kindle.

The analysis may sound like circular reasoning, but it has the simplicity and validity of universal laws. When you take a baseball and drop it out of a window, the result is without question due to a law we call gravity. Trust is the same way.

Create an environment where people feel safe sharing difficult messages with you, then you develop trust. That trust means you often can see yourself the way other people do. This knowledge will allow you to take corrective or preventive actions that you would otherwise not even consider.

Conclusion

Recognize the phenomenon is not absolute. Some people may still choose to hide their private thoughts. There is a higher probability of openness if trust exists.

An additional benefit is obvious. By creating a “real” environment with other people, you can tell them things that will help them grow. That reciprocal relationship is the basis on which two people can help each other on the journey of life.

Bob Whipple, MBA, CPTD, is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and author in the areas of leadership and trust. He is the author of four books: 1. The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals (2003), 2. Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online (2006), 3. Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind (2009), and 4. Trust in Transition: Navigating Organizational Change (2014). In addition, he has authored over 1600 articles and videos on various topics in leadership and trust. Bob has many years as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 Company and with non-profit organizations. For more information, or to bring Bob in to speak at your next event, contact him at http://www.Leadergrow.com

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